


what could i do (but follow your love)

by playedwright



Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Communication, Developing Relationship, Falling In Love, First Kiss, Fluff, Get Together, High Stakes Hockey Games, It is now, M/M, NCAA Championships, Romance, is that a tag, sometimes these idiots just need to communicate!!!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-13
Updated: 2019-11-13
Packaged: 2021-01-26 13:49:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 28,465
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21375148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/playedwright/pseuds/playedwright
Summary: It starts, for Derek at least, in the front seat of his car.He’s not sure where it starts for Dex, but it had to have started somewhere. Derek assumes it’s been a long time coming for Dex.Why else would Dex lean across the console to press a kiss to Derek’s mouth, like it’s the easiest thing in the world to do?
Relationships: Derek "Nursey" Nurse/William "Dex" Poindexter, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 164
Kudos: 573
Collections: OMGCP Big Bang 2019





	what could i do (but follow your love)

**Author's Note:**

> idk man basically i just wanted a fic where we got to see what their developing relationship would look like and then somewhere down the road they were like "u realize you started this story right in the middle of the ncaa championships right" and i was like FUCK and then my big bang fic was almost 30k words ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯ 
> 
> title from 'preach' by keiynan lonsdale, the song that lowkey inspired this whole thing
> 
> a huge huge huge HUGE thanks to [jane](https://smhloudboy.tumblr.com/) for the beautiful artwork they created for this story, i'm literally in love!!! please go give their stuff a reblog [here](https://smhloudboy.tumblr.com/post/189045859946/i-did-big-bang-with-tonytangredis-and-it-was-so/)!

_ beginning of april _

Derek is pretty sure today is the perfect day.

Summer is right around the corner for Massachusetts, which means it’s warm enough outside that Derek can break out his summer wardrobe and drive with his windows down. The sun beats down against his car, the breeze is gentle on his face, and the music filtering from his speakers makes him feel invincible. He and Dex are about to go try the new Thai place that just opened about fifteen minutes away and after, when they get back to the Haus, they’ll be all set up for movie night in Dex’s bungalow to watch Rogue One with Chowder—Derek even put licorice and M&M’s in the backseat for the occasion.

So, yeah, he’s pretty sure today is the perfect day.

Dex is waiting outside the CS building when Derek pulls up, scrolling through his phone. Dex has pulled out his summer wardrobe, too; he’s swapped the worn flannels he seems to live in during the colder months for a black t-shirt with rolled sleeves. It’s a good look for him. Derek honks the horn as he pulls up to the curb.

“Lookin’ good, Dexy,” he says, rolling down the window as Dex walks towards the car. “Where’d you get the shirt? Did you shrink it in the dryer or did it just naturally come that tight?”

“Fuck you,” Dex retorts with no real heat. Derek leans across the middle console to push open the door.

“Maybe after dinner.”

Dex huffs out an annoyed breath. “You’re the worst.”

“Is that why you agreed to try this new restaurant with me? Grow up, Dexington, I know you secretly enjoy my company. You can say it. We’re _ friends_.”

Derek doesn’t move from where he’s leaned over the seat, even when Dex climbs in the car. Their faces are closer than Derek anticipated. Before Derek’s brain can even begin to process it, Dex closes the distance between them and kisses Derek right on the mouth.

It’s just a peck. That’s all it is. Barely a second before Dex mutters a “hey,” so soft that it almost gets lost in the music. One more second passes, and Dex makes a valiant effort to buckle his seatbelt before he realizes what he’s done. Derek is still frozen in place when Dex stiffens.

“Oh my god,” Dex whispers. His face turns bright red faster than Derek can blink. “Oh my _ god_. I’m so sorry. Oh my god.”

“Uhhh,” Derek says. His mouth opens and closes a few times for good measure, no sound coming out. He watches, shocked and unable to do anything else, as Dex becomes even more flustered.

“Fuck. I’m so sorry. I swear to god I didn’t mean to. Christ, that makes it sound worse. It was instinct? Or like, um. Habit? I guess? Nurse. Shit. I’m sorry.”

Derek clears his throat. “Nah, man,” he says. Dex’s mouth snaps shut so hard it’s audible. “It’s chill.”

It’s clear that Dex doesn’t want to talk about it. Derek knows what mortification feels like and he can literally feel it radiating off of Poindexter. Derek clears his throat again out of lack of anything else to do, and he puts the car into drive.

It’s awkward. Derek doesn’t even try to sing along to the song playing softly through his speakers. His fingers tap anxiously against the steering wheel.

Dex coughs. “Okay, um. So. I like guys.”

Derek’s heart stops beating.

Dex hurries on, “I mean like, I just think it’s fair I told you now, since I planted one on you. Which again, I’m so sorry. But, yeah… I like guys.”

“That’s cool.” Derek’s voice comes out more strangled than he intends. He swallows thickly. “I mean, like, thanks for telling me.”

“And girls sometimes, I guess, too, but less often. It’s mostly guys I think. I don’t know.” Derek thinks Dex’s entire body must be red now by how rapidly the blush on his face is deepening. He’s rambling, too, and Derek feels inexplicably nervous. “This whole thing is confusing as hell. I’m mostly just figuring it out as I go, but, yeah. To summarize, I’m into dudes and I shouldn’t have kissed you. I definitely didn’t mean to—”

“How can you _ not mean _to kiss somebody?” Derek blurts out.

Dex’s mouth twists. “You were leaning over into my seat.”

“I had just opened the door for you,” Derek clarifies.

At Dex’s glare, Derek snaps his mouth shut. “I’m comfortable with you,” Dex continues. His hands twist together in his lap. “We’ve been spending a lot of time together recently… I don’t know, dude, it was just a habit from a relationship years ago. I’m sorry.”

Derek sucks his bottom lip in between his teeth. It makes sense, he guesses, even though he suspects there’s more to the story. But he’s pushed Dex out of his comfort zone enough for the day. “We’re good,” he says decisively. Dex melts into his seat. “I’m gonna chirp the hell out of you for this in, like, two weeks, but seriously, man, don’t worry about it.”

Dex groans. “Can we please _ not _chirp me for this?”

“No way. This is prime chirping material, Dexington. I’ll give you time for the embarrassment to die down, but then it’s Chirp City.”

Dex raises an eyebrow, which Derek pointedly ignores. “You’re the embarrassing one. Chirp City?”

“Chyeah, man.”

Derek really is determined to drop it, after that. Except he can’t stop replaying it in his head. He wonders what was going through Dex’s thoughts, and finds himself wanting to know more about Dex’s old relationship—one where he could kiss someone with that amount of ease. A kiss like that is a kiss that comes from knowing someone a long time, from comfort in a relationship. His fingers twitch for a pen and Derek realizes with a jolt that he’s _ dying _to write this out. One accidental peck on the lips, and words are itching underneath Derek’s skin and begging to flow. He shakes away the thought, and with it, the sudden urge he gets to take Dex’s hand as they’re walking into the restaurant.

* * *

Derek realizes at midnight that he kind of liked it when Dex had kissed him earlier.

He lays on his bunk, stares at the ceiling, and tells himself to chill. There’s panic threatening to cling to his lungs. Dex kissed him on accident, and made it clear that it was an accident, and it’s been hours, but Derek is still thinking about it.

They just spent the entire afternoon together, at dinner, and then piled on Dex’s bed watching a movie. Derek has only been upstairs alone for _ fifteen minutes _, and he already kind of misses Dex. Like, he feels like he needs to go downstairs and knock on the door and ask if Dex wants to have a sleepover, because, apparently, they didn’t spend enough time together today.

His head is spiraling. Derek covers his face with a pillow and lets out a half-hearted scream.

There’s a knock on his door.

Derek sits up. His phone lights up and the clock says _ 12:23_. There’s really only two people who would be knocking on his door this late.

He pulls on a pair of pajama pants before he goes to open the door. Dex is on the other side, clearly fresh from his bed. His hair is a mess, like he’s been yanking on it for the last fifteen minutes, and he’s still wearing the same tight black shirt, but now he just has his boxers on, and _Christ_, Derek’s heart is going to jump out of his chest.

What the hell is happening to him? Earlier, this wouldn’t have affected him at all.

“Starting your morning a little early here, Poindexter,” Derek hears himself say. Dex barely looks at him before stepping into the room.

He’s pacing. Derek tries not to focus on it. He really wishes he would have put on a shirt. He folds his arms over his chest as Dex crosses the room a few more times. Dex goes through a few stages of red faces before he finally comes to a stop about four feet in front of Derek. His skin is delightfully pink.

“Sorry,” Dex starts with.

Derek clears his throat. “For what?”

“Kissing you,” Dex says. His skin goes even pinker. Derek wonders if it would feel warm under his hand.

“You already apologized for that, Dexy,” Derek reminds him softly. This is kind of the last thing he needs right now, in the middle of his spiral. Dex had come up here to remind him that the stupid kiss had been nothing more than an accident and that Derek is being weird for fixating on it.

Neither of them talk again for a minute. Derek shifts his weight from one foot to another. Dex won’t meet his gaze, and his nerves are so palpable that Derek can almost feel it pressing against him even with four feet between them. He wonders if he can make a joke out of this, turn this lighthearted and go back to right before the kiss when he was able to compliment Dex without wondering if it _ meant _something.

“You know, Poindorkster, even for a two-second kiss, that wasn’t half bad—” Derek starts to tease.

Dex squares his shoulders. “I was wondering if you would go on a date with me.”

Everything slows down. The world, already quiet outside, seems to rotate five degrees to its side. At a glance, nothing is out of the ordinary, but everything is off center. Derek blinks slowly.

“Sorry, what?” 

Dex’s fingers fiddle with the bottom hem of his shirt. Derek tracks the movement for a moment, then flushes when he realizes Dex catches him doing it. There’s an air of surreality surrounding them now; Derek wonders if, perhaps, they’ve stepped into an alternate universe for the night. In another world, this moment would feel awkward. In another reality, perhaps they would have never made it to this place.

The next time Dex speaks, his voice is soft but sure. “I like you,” he admits. He catches Derek’s eyes. Derek has seen him drop gloves on the ice after dirty hits, and he has seen him moments before an exam. He has seen Dex stare down impossible repair projects and has seen the expression on his face at three in the morning as he types the last page of his essays. And yet, Derek has never seen determination in his eyes like this.

Something inside of him ignites.

“I like you,” Dex repeats. Despite the heaviness of his gaze, his voice is still barely above a whisper. “I didn’t realize it until today but I do and I can’t stop thinking about it and I just wondered if you’d be willing to go on a date with me.”

Derek takes a deep breath. “Dex—”

“I’ll drop it,” Dex whispers. His voice sounds frantic. Derek watches, helpless, as Dex raises a hand and scrubs it against his eyes. “I swear, Nursey, I swear I’ll never bring it up again and we can just go about like before and it’ll be fine if you want to say no. Like. I know we’re in a good place, okay, but I can’t stop thinking about it…” He drops his hands. He finishes lamely, “I just had to ask.”

“_Dex_,” Derek says again. “Don’t drop it.”

“What?”

Derek clears his throat. “Okay.”

It’s quiet for another moment. Derek counts how many times Dex blinks. “Okay…?” he repeats. Derek startles. He’s pretty sure these moments are more romantic in movies.

“Okay, I’ll go on a date with you,” he amends. His heart leaps into his throat.

Dex’s eyes go wide. “You will?”

“Yeah,” Derek says. His voice cracks. “Yes. I, um. Like, honestly, I can’t stop thinking about it either. So.”

There’s a smile that spreads across Dex’s face; it’s by no means the brightest one Derek’s ever seen, but it is probably the most beautiful. “Yeah?” Dex asks.

Derek grins back; he can’t help it. “Dude, I mean like, honestly? Right before you walked in I was thinking about going downstairs and asking you if you wanted to have a sleepover because I didn’t think we had spent enough time together today.”

Dex’s expression is softer than anything Derek has ever seen before. “Wow,” he says with a laugh.

“Hey, no chirping, you literally came up here to ask me out even though you already planted one on me earlier today.”

“On _ accident_.”

“Sure, sure, that’s convenient.”

They stand there in the room, the one they used to share, at nearly one in the morning, grinning at each other like nothing else in the world matters. Derek thinks about how far they’ve come, for them to end up back here. Not even nine months ago, he was terrified to room with the boy who’d rather have a meltdown in front of his captain than live with Derek.

And now?

“Are we just gonna sit here all night grinning at each other like a bunch of idiots, or…?” Derek asks. He wonders if Dex will kiss him again, in the privacy of the room. It’d be romantic, Derek decides. It could be heady or it could be brief, and Derek thinks either way, it would make his toes curl.

“I’m going to bed,” Dex whispers. He takes a step forward; Derek doesn’t move from his spot.

“Okay,” Derek whispers back.

Dex clears his throat. “Are you free tomorrow night? For the date. I’ll plan it.”

“Tomorrow night?” Derek repeats. He bites his lip and enjoys the way Dex’s eyes track it. “Moving a little fast there, Poindexter.”

“In your own words, I literally kissed you earlier today,” Dex says dryly. “Are you? Free?”

Dex knows just as well as Derek does that he’s free all afternoon after 3pm tomorrow. Hell, sometimes Derek thinks that Dex knows his schedule better than he does. He decides, then, that there’s no use beating around the bush. He could tease Dex and draw this out, he could delight in the way Dex’s cheeks would tinge even darker and he could enjoy the way that Dex would huff on his way out. But he finds that, for once, he doesn’t want to.

“Yeah,” he finally agrees. He sounds breathless, even to his own ears. “I’m free.”

Dex nods. “I’ll pick you up at five.”

Derek watches, still feeling a little bit dazed, as Dex finally walks past him and towards the door. He almost doesn’t catch the way Dex’s fingers brush purposefully against his arm. Derek’s skin is on fire from the contact.

“We live together,” he blurts out dumbly. His head finally catches up to Dex’s words. “I’ll just meet you in the living room or something, you weirdo.”

Dex lingers at the door. That same determined expression from before is back, and Derek realizes that even without a kiss Dex can make his toes curl. “I’ll pick you up,” Dex repeats. His gaze softens. “Goodnight, Nursey.”

Derek calls out his own goodnight long after Dex has walked away.

* * *

Derek doesn’t bump into Dex all day.

He thinks it might be on purpose. Derek sees him at practice in the morning, and even bumps into him in the corridor outside the locker room, but when Derek goes to invite him to Annie’s for breakfast before Dex’s 9am, Dex has already gone.

Their days keep them both busy, through surprise group project meetings and lectures running late and skipped meals. Dex texts Derek more constantly today than he ever has before. Still, he really doesn’t see Dex again until he’s back at the Haus at 3:30, shuffling in the door and checking the kitchen for something to eat.

He has about three minutes of quiet Haus to himself before the front door opens and closes and footsteps near the kitchen. Derek shuts the fridge and finds himself surprised to see Dex on the other side of the threshold.

“Dex,” he says.

Dex, for what it’s worth, looks just as surprised as Derek feels. “Hey,” he mutters. “Busy day?”

Derek clears his throat. “Um, yep. History lecture ran late.”

“Oh.” Dex looks away and nods to himself. He brushes his way into the kitchen quietly and goes to the sink to fill up his water bottle. “Well, at least you have a little bit of a break, right?”

“Chyeah,” Derek agrees. “Wait. No, actually, I have to go and work on homework. But. I’ll be ready by five?”

Dex looks up, startled, as if he’d forgotten that they’d agreed to go on a date tonight. Derek’s stomach is filled with butterflies.

“Good,” Dex says. He blinks slowly. It feels awkward. “Okay. Um. We’re going into Somerville, so. Be ready for that.”

Derek’s lips quirk up into a smile. “Am I allowed to know what we’re doing?”

“No.” Then Dex’s face turns pick. “Um. Not yet. But when we get there, you have full veto powers.”

Derek leans against the fridge. It’s interesting, seeing Dex flustered like this. He hasn’t seen this version of Dex for a long time. Not for the first time, Derek thinks about how far they really have come. “Okay,” he says finally. “I don’t think I’ll need them, though. I trust your judgement.”

Dex’s face turns even pinker. Derek is almost alarmed at how quickly he went from being amused by Dex’s blushes to wanting to kiss him whenever it happens. He’s always been an all-or-nothing kind of guy, but—

Holy shit. He _ really _likes Dex.

“Um, good,” Dex says. “I’m gonna… work on my own homework. I guess. Uh. I’ll see you soon.”

Then, to Derek’s utter shock and delight, Dex presses a faint kiss to Derek’s cheek on his way out of the kitchen. His face is red as he does it but there’s a self-satisfied smile on his face as he walks away. The feeling of it is permanently engraved onto Derek’s skin.

He’s still standing there, covering the place where Dex kissed him with his hand and wearing a goofy grin on his face, when Chowder walks in the door.

Chowder stops and regards Derek with furrowed brows.“Nursey? Are you okay?”

“I am so, _ so _fucked,” Derek breathes.

  
  
  


See, it’s like this.

Derek is prone to falling in love with people he can’t have. He’s known that ever since he was eight years old and developed a crush on Danny Phantom. He’s a romantic by nature and finds the hopelessness aspect to it endearing. He can’t walk down a street anywhere without finding someone to temporarily fall in love with. It’s why he likes poetry so much. It also keeps him safe; falling in love with people he can’t have means he never has to expose anyone to the feelings of inadequacy that seem to constantly follow him around. Falling in love with the unattainable means there’s not a chance of something _ real _rejecting him.

For that reason, falling in love with Dex had never been an option. Derek had never even considered it until now. As much as Derek falls in love with anyone who will give him the time of day, he’s made it a rule to not fall for his friends. Especially not his former-nemesis, now-ex-roommate-slash-best-friend. The thought had literally never even crossed his mind until yesterday when Dex had closed the distance between them and kissed Derek like it was something he’d done a thousand times.

Now, there’s _ this, _there’s the softer side of how Dex acts in a relationship that seems like a glimpse into their future, and there’s the slight brush of his fingers down Derek’s arm before he left last night, and there’s that tenderness from the kiss Dex had pressed to Derek’s cheek. There is the Dex that is full of fire and brimstone, who could tear down entire civilizations if someone gave him a reason—and now, there is the Dex who is a quiet spark that sits underneath Derek’s skin and keeps him warm like a hearth.

It feels like whiplash. They’ve gone from normalcy to something extraordinary. Or perhaps they were always on this path, and he’s been too in his own head to notice. Perhaps in another universe, he’d already be in love with Dex by this point, and the kiss in the car would have been searing passion and tongue and _ want _instead of something brief and familiar.

Christ. Derek really is an all-or-nothing kind of guy.

He clings to the edge of the sink and takes a steadying breath. He’s definitely getting ahead of himself. There’s a chance that this won’t even go well. After all, their relationship started years ago out of arguing and insults and a refusal to communicate. Who’s to say that any kind of relationship going forward would even work? God, it’s so easy to fall back into old habits. This could ruin them.

There’s a hopeful part of him that wonders if this could actually become the best of them—if going down this road is going to change his and Dex’s relationship for the better.

Derek spits toothpaste out in the sink and rinses his mouth. He’s still getting ahead of himself. There’s a date happening and Dex is going to pick him up any minute now. It’s time now that he puts his focus towards enjoying himself tonight.

He runs into Dex in the hallway.

“Oh.” Dex’s face goes red in an instant, a seemingly common occurrence as of late. His hands are behind his back. “I was going to knock on your door.”

“I’m not in there,” Derek says dumbly.

Dex gives him an exasperated smile. “I can see that.”

Derek blinks. “Um. Sorry, I was just brushing my teeth. I just need to grab my shoes then I’ll be good to go.”

“That’s fine.” Dex follows Derek into the room without another word. Derek moves quickly, self-conscious of the way Dex shifts his weight behind him. He’s got half of his foot in a sneaker when Dex says, “I brought flowers? I… hope that isn’t too much.”

Derek looks up in surprise. Sure enough, there’s a bouquet of purple flowers in Dex’s hands. They’re haphazard at best; Derek is pretty sure that Dex picked them from the gardens on Samwell grounds.

It’s the sweetest thing anyone has ever done for him.

Derek swallows around the lump in his throat. “It’s not too much,” he rasps out. He catches Dex’s gaze. “There’s a vase, um—”

“Left side of the closet, behind the box of journals?” Dex asks. He’s already moving across the floor to grab it. “I’ll grab that and get it filled with water. Unless you need help getting your shoes on?”

“Fuck off,” Derek bites back, even though there’s no real heat. Dex smiles and it reaches his eyes.

The flowers look really nice on Derek’s desk.

He barely stops himself from giving Dex a kiss as a thank you.

“You ready to go?” Dex asks. His hands are in the front pockets of his jeans, and he looks more self-conscious than Derek has ever seen him before. He looks good—dark wash jeans that Derek is pretty sure he’s never seen Dex wear before, and a grey short-sleeved button-up. His hair is grown out a bit, about as much as he lets it get during playoff season. The realization that Dex has put a lot of effort into this strikes Derek suddenly.

He doesn’t know why it surprises him so much.

“Uhhh,” Derek responds.

Dex steps forward. “You good, dude?”

“Yeah,” Derek says. He stands, even though he only has one shoe on still. “Sorry—it’s just. I’m really glad we’re doing this.”

“What?” Dex startles. “Doing—going on a date?”

“_Yes_,” Derek tells him. It’s important to him, for some reason, that Dex understands this. “It’s just. I’m excited. Like… I’m _ hella _excited for this. And you look, um. You just look good.”

Dex’s lip twitches, like he’s fighting off a smile. Derek is almost desperate at this point to get his hands on him. “I look good?”

It’s a chirp. Derek is not the most eloquent person in the world and he has never claimed to be, but he can still do better than _ you look good. _

“Fine,” he says. He doesn’t try to hide his grin. “You look hot.”

Dex flushes down to his fingertips. “Shut up,” he says. His voice is flustered; it’s adorable. “Thank you. I’m glad we’re doing this, too. Um. I’d tell you that you look hot too, but you’re currently wearing only one shoe.”

Derek glances down. “Maybe it’s a fashion statement.”

“I will not take you out if you leave the Haus looking like that.”

“Excuse me, Poindexter, who was it that literally left the Haus wearing Flyers orange shorts and a Samwell shirt the other day? Where is your room to judge?”

Dex rolls his eyes. “That was right before practice, when does that ever count? I had just rolled out of bed.” He lets out an angry huff of air. When he catches Derek’s eyes again, his expression softens. Derek is kind of obsessed with the way that keeps happening. “Please put your shoes on so I can take you out on this date that we’re both really excited for.”

Derek puts his shoes on.

They almost manage to make it out of the Haus undetected, before Chowder catches them from his spot on the couch. There’s a bowl of popcorn in his hands and a Sharks game on the tv, and he cranes his neck to look and Derek and Dex before they leave.

“Are you guys leaving?” he asks. There’s a tone of surprise in his voice.

Derek shuffles his weight back and forth. “Yeah, we’re just going out for a bit,” he says easily. It’s not technically a lie, even if it doesn’t feel right when it comes out of his mouth. Dex’s eyes go tight.

Chowder looks between the two of them. Derek isn’t able to read the expression on his face. “Where are you guys going?”

“Trying something new for once, but then we’ll probably pick up some food,” Dex answers. Derek has to remind himself not to stare. “Do you want us to order you something and bring it back?”

There’s a moment of hesitation before Chowder sinks further into the cushions. “No,” he finally says. “You guys have fun without me.”

Derek starts to say something else, but Chowder has already turned his attention back to his tv and Dex’s hand brushes against his wrist to pull him out the door. Derek decides it’s not worth dwelling on the tension he might have seen in Chowder’s shoulders.

Dex leads them to his truck, a battered old thing that Derek could never admit out loud that he actually likes. Dex starts the engine while he waits for Derek to buckle up.

Then, to Derek’s shock, Dex presses the aux cord into his hands.

“You’re really going all out here, huh, Dexy?” Derek asks. There’s astonishment in his voice that he couldn’t have even tried to hide.

Dex flushes. There is going to be a lot of that tonight, Derek is sure. “Oh my god. Do you want to pick the music or not?”

Their drive is an easy one, as they make their way out of Samwell and onto the highway. Dex is mysteriously tight-lipped when Derek asks him about what they’re doing, but Derek isn’t nervous. He sits in his seat and takes in the views as they drive through the city and he taps his fingers against the door to the tune of the music.

Dex hums along to some of his songs. Derek tries to act like it doesn’t affect him.

“So, this is weird,” he says just as Dex pulls into a parking garage. Dex makes a questioning noise, so Derek continues, “Like, first dates are supposed to be for getting to know someone, you feel? But we already did the getting-to-know-you-thing. So like, what do we talk about?”

“Maybe the same stuff we normally talk about?” Dex suggests.

Derek harrumphs. “Dex, this is a date. I can’t woo you if we talk about the same stuff we normally talk about. That’s _ normal._ What’s going to tell this night apart from any other night if we just talk about the same stuff?”

Dex looks at him with a raised eyebrow. There’s a threat of a smile at the corner of his mouth and his cheeks are tinged with pink. “You’re trying to woo me tonight?”

“Oh my _ god, _Poindexter, do you even know what a date is?!”

“_Nursey_,” Dex says, all exasperated and fond. Derek’s mouth clamps shut audibly. “What separates tonight from the other nights is that I put on a button-up shirt for you. What separates tonight from the other nights is that we’re going to go in there and I’m gonna maybe let you hold my hand. When we go out to eat, we’ll argue over who is going to pay and we might play footsie under the table. We’ll talk about whatever comes up, okay?”

“Footsie? Dex, are you twelve? Oh my god.” Derek tries his damnedest to keep the grin off his face, but he knows he fails spectacularly. Of all the sides he expected to see from Dex tonight, passably charming and lowkey flirtatious were nowhere on the list.

Dex puts the truck into park and kills the engine. When he turns to face Derek, Derek’s entire body seems to burst into flames under the heat in Dex’s gaze.

“We’re going to the MOBA,” he says seriously. “This is where you can use your veto powers if you want.”

“The MOBA,” Derek repeats. “The Museum of Bad Art? Are you serious? We’re going to the Museum of Bad Art.”

Dex writhes his hands in his lap. “If you hate it, we can go literally anywhere else.”

“William, are you kidding me?” Derek puts his hand over his heart. “You’ve brought me to the MOBA. This is _ thrilling_. Oh my god, this is lowkey the perfect first date for us. Dex, who even are you?”

“You’re being serious?” Dex quirks an eyebrow.

“I’ve never been more serious in my life! Oh my god, Poindexter, can we please go look at terrible art?”

To Derek’s surprise and delight, Dex _ does _let Derek hold his hand. Dex pays for their tickets and gives Derek a shy smile when he does—and in Derek’s excitement to get started, he tugs Dex forward into the exhibit. But Dex doesn’t let go, even as they continue on through.

Derek can’t keep the grin off his face.

They only reach the second portrait in the exhibit before Dex’s nose wrinkles and he fidgets against Derek. “What exactly qualifies art as bad?” he asks.

“It’s relative. Art is as bad as the viewer views it to be, you know?”

“Right, so like, what do you have to do to qualify? How could I get some bad art displayed here?” Dex presses.

Derek snorts out a laugh. “You going to take up painting in all your spare time, Dexy?”

Dex gives him an unimpressed look.

“Okay,” Derek relents. “Well. Take this portrait, okay? So like, art is supposed to make you feel something. I can look at a Jackson Pollock painting for a while and then when I walk away, I’d feel hella melancholy. Or, if I looked at _ The Ninth Wave _then I’d feel kind of bittersweet. So when you look at this painting, what do you feel?”

Dex regards the painting. His mouth tightens for a moment, then forms a thin line. He captures his bottom lip between his teeth. Derek is unable to look away from him.

“Uncomfortable,” Dex admits.

“Why?” Derek prompts.

Dex huffs out a breath and rolls his eyes. “I don’t know,” he says stubbornly. With his free hand, he gestures at the painting. “The colors don’t really work together. That yellow makes me, like, angry. And the woman looks uncomfortable. Her arms are weird proportions.”

Derek grins. “Would you say this is a bad painting?”

“Fuck.” Dex bites his lip again. “I don’t want to say yes. I feel like it’s a trap. Like, you’re going to tell me that Van Gogh painted this or something and I’m just gonna shit all over his work because I don’t like that yellow.”

“This particular portrait was taken out of a dumpster in Boston,” Derek tells him, pointing to the plaque on the wall next to it.

“Christ! Gross,” Dex whines.

“My _ point _is,” Derek continues, “it’s relative. Most art is considered bad by someone. But this stuff is like, mad terrible. Like. Seriously, Dex, they dug this painting out of the garbage. It’s bad art. Her arms are super weird. Also, like, what the hell is happening behind her? Is she wearing a cape?”

A startled laugh bursts out of Dex. “It’s gotta be a cape,” he agrees. He tugs on Derek’s hand. “Come on. Tell me more about what makes art good or bad.”

There are butterflies in Derek’s stomach.

Derek can’t stop thinking about how insane all of this is. It hits him like a train, every time the thought pops into his head. Dex will squeeze his hand every now and then, or he’ll press closer to Derek, or sometimes Derek will catch him staring and the tips of his ears will turn pink. It’s different, in a thousand ways, from all the other times they’ve hung out before. What’s even stranger is that it’s _ working _. It’s going really well—Derek’s practically drunk off of how good this feels. It’s fun and it’s easy, and he still chirps Dex whenever he can and Dex is still quick to bite out a “fuck off” when Derek presses his buttons—but it’s working.

Derek is so, so fucked.

It doesn’t help that Dex looks really good in this lighting.

Derek catches himself staring more often than he’d care to admit. If he’s being honest, he can’t help it. There’s something so compelling about Dex in this environment. Derek surprises himself when he realizes he wants this to happen again.

Of course he wants it to happen again. Derek doesn’t know how to do things other than to the extreme. What did he expect was going to happen? Did he think he was going to go out on this date with Dex then return home tonight and decide that one was enough, that they’d be okay going back to just being friends?

Christ.

“Do you want to get dinner?” Dex asks. His voice is timid and shy but his eyes are hopeful and Derek is so into him that he is physically aching with it.

“Yeah,” he agrees, breathless.

They stop at this hole-in-the-wall pizza parlor down the street that has Dex’s favorite beer on tap and snag a table near the window. It’s darker in here than it was in the museum, and Derek’s heart is still pounding. Where it’s no longer curled around Dex’s, his hand feels empty.

Dex takes a sip of his beer while Derek looks over the menu. “What looks good?” Dex asks.

Derek hands him a napkin. “You’ve got a foam ‘stache going on,” he explains. “I mean, I find it adorable, but this is a semi-respectable place.”

“There are students from Tufts here.”

“Like I said, semi-respectable.”

Dex grins. He wipes his mouth and grabs a menu of his own. “For real, though. What are you getting?”

“Idk, dude,” Derek admits. “This all looks delish.”

Dex lets out a low hum, getting Derek’s attention. He raises a challenging eyebrow. “I mean, you could let me order for you.”

Derek smirks. “Does that mean I get to order for you?”

“Fair’s fair,” Dex tells him with a shrug. “So? You game?”

“Is this the Poindexter charm? Like, is this what you do to impress your dates? Challenge them to dares?” Derek asks. He leans back against his seat, and below the table he presses his ankle against Dex’s. It’s a challenge of his own—he’s curious to find out what Dex’s next move is.

“No,” Dex admits. He bites his lip again; Derek wonders if Dex knows what it’s doing to him. “Only the dates that I really want to go well.”

He runs his foot against Derek’s calf, then settles back into his seat with his legs tangled with Derek’s underneath the table.

If Derek’s blush were obvious, he’s sure he’d be as red as a tomato right now. He makes a small noise of surprise.

Dex smirks into his menu.

They place their orders and settle into the booth once the server takes their menus. It’s not the first time they’ve lapsed into silence on this date, but it feels more intimate now. With Dex across the table, Derek can freely study him. Dex looks out the window, his eyes tracking the people who walk by. His lips are pursed slightly, cheeks still tinged with pink. When Derek shifts his legs and slots them more comfortable against Dex’s, he watches as the pink deepens and trails down Dex’s neck.

“You’re staring,” Dex comments. He draws his eyes away from the window until his gaze settles on Derek.

“So what if I am?” Derek asks.

Dex smiles. He looks surprised by it.“You’re enjoying this, right?” He doesn’t look away, despite the twitch in his hands that tells Derek he wants to. “Like, it’s going well? That’s not just in my head?”

“Will,” Derek says softly. Part of him wants to reach across the table and take Dex’s hands in his own. Perhaps that would be too much. He longs for it, regardless. “Before the date even started, you promised me there’d be handholding and footsie under the dinner table and arguing. You’ve ticked off all those boxes.”

Dex fidgets. “Okay, so—” he starts.

“_So _. Of course I’m enjoying this. Like, I’m hella into this. Don’t worry, I’m shocked too. I’m honestly surprised we haven’t started yelling at one another yet.”

“The night is still young,” Dex says dryly. Derek laughs.

“It’s not in your head,” he reiterates. He’d say it fifty more times tonight, if it meant Dex knew he was serious.

“Cool,” Dex says with a nod. His face looks far too serious, it’s almost comical. Then, in a millisecond, Dex is unable to keep fighting off his pleased grin. He ducks his head, but it doesn’t matter. Derek can still see it stretching from ear to ear. He’s still grinning to himself when he repeats, “Cool.”

* * *

Dex didn’t kiss him.

Dex didn’t _ kiss him. _

This whole thing literally started because Dex kissed him on accident. Dex asked him out and they had a great date, in Derek’s opinion, but they got back to the Haus and paused awkwardly in the kitchen before Dex gave Derek a tired look and a quick hug and said, “I’ll see you tomorrow, Nurse.”

Derek stares up at the ceiling at five in the morning, and he replays the whole date back in his head, and he wonders why in the _ hell _Dex didn’t kiss him last night.

“Fuck,” he whispers, into the quiet morning air. The peace will be broken in just a few minutes, as the Haus occupants force themselves awake and out the door for practice, but for now Derek talks into the stillness. “He didn’t fucking kiss me!”

He’s probably unreasonably angry about this. There’s most likely some sort of explanation. Maybe Derek had bad breath. There was garlic on his pizza last night. But—Dex ate some of that, too, so that would be a shitty reason to not kiss his date at the end of the night.

Derek huffs. They didn’t even talk about going out again. Didn’t they literally discuss how they were both enjoying themselves? Did Derek not make it clear that he was really into the idea of dating Dex?

There’s a knock on his door, and Bitty’s voice carries through the room. “Rise and shine, Nursey, practice in thirty.”

“Got it, Cap,” Derek calls back. He scrubs a hand over his face.

It takes him a minute to locate a pair of sweatpants to wear on the way over to Faber and make sure everything is in his gear bag, so by the time he’s hurrying down the stairs he’s almost certain everyone else has already headed out.

Of course, that’s when he crashes into Dex right as he walks out of the kitchen.

“Christ, sorry—”

“Fuck, my bad, I wasn’t paying attention—”

Derek’s bag drops to the ground. Dex is wearing a Samwell hoodie from his freshman year and a soft smile that makes Derek’s heart skip a beat. “Okay there, Nurse?” he asks. Even his voice is gentle and lilting. Derek feels like he’s entered a parallel universe.

Maybe a different one, one different from the one they entered the day Dex asked him out.

“Half asleep still,” he answers. He doesn’t even recognize the words coming out of his mouth. “Um. Hi.”

Dex’s hands are still on his arms, from where he’d grabbed Derek to steady him during the crash. Derek starts to think that maybe that’s not the only reason Dex is touching him like this. “Hi,” Dex parrots. His eyebrow raises slightly.

“I like that hoodie,” Derek blurts out.

A huff of air comes out of Dex’s mouth, almost a laugh. “Last week you gave me shit for wearing it because it’s from our frog year and it’s a little snug.”

“Well, now I like it,” Derek tells him dumbly.

Behind them, Chowder clears his throat. Derek startles and Dex’s hands drop, both of them talking a half-step back from one another. Chowder stands in the archway, glancing between the both of them with an unreadable look on his face. “Is everything okay out here?”

“Peachy,” Derek tells him.

“Nurse just doesn’t know how to look where he’s going,” Dex says. He picks Derek’s gear bag up off the ground and hands it off to Derek. “Are you ready to go?”

“Pssh, I was born ready, Poindexter,” Derek responds. He cringes as he takes his bag from Dex’s hands. He isn’t acting normally and he has never felt more aware of it in his life. “You guys wanna walk over together?”  
  


Chowder regards them both with a furrowed brow. There’s a frown on his face that Derek doesn’t think he’s ever seen before. “I have to hold back and wait to walk with Bitty. He wanted to talk strategy for the next game. You guys go ahead, though!”

Derek’s heart is hammering in his chest. Does Chowder know? Did Derek slip up and tell him, or did Dex tell him in the early morning before Derek got out of bed? Derek doesn’t know if this is something they’re telling people about—and if they’re telling people, then _ why in the hell _did Dex leave without kissing him last night?

“Earth to Nursey,” Dex says. Derek startles away when he realizes Dex’s hand is waving in front of his face. “There he is. Seriously, are you ready to go? Do you need, like, a shot of espresso or something? You’re kinda out of it.”

Derek clears his throat. He shifts his bag strap higher onto his shoulder and nods resolutely. “No, I’m good. Let’s hit it. C, we’ll see you there.”

It’s a warm morning, even though the sky is still dark. They’ve reached the point in the year where they get to watch the sunrise hit the ice at Faber, on the days they have early morning practices. Derek has always found the whole prospect of that insanely romantic.

Still, today he wishes for a bit of a chill. It would give him, maybe, an excuse to press closer to Dex on their walk.

“I can’t believe we only have a few games left,” Dex admits. It’s a whispered confession, even though they’re alone. “One or two. I can’t believe we’re in the Frozen Four.”

Derek cracks a soft smile. “Can’t believe the last time we were there was our frog year. Hella crazy that we’d end up there twice in our college career.”

“I think we could get it this time,” Dex whispers. His eyes are certain when they catch Derek’s. “I have a really good feeling about it.”

Derek’s stomach swoops. Before he can even try to stop it, he says, “I had a good feeling about us. Last night. Poindexter, I had a _ really _good time.”

There’s a moment where Dex just looks at him in shock—as though he can’t believe what Derek is saying. It’s only a second, and then there’s a brilliant and soft and _ happy _smile that crosses his face and his cheeks are tinged pink. Derek’s heart is going to pound right out of his chest at the sight of it.

“Good to hear,” Dex says. His voice is breathless and light. “I had a good feeling about last night, too.”

“Do you want to do it again?” Derek asks. It comes out a bit too desperately, but it doesn’t matter. Dex shifts closer and presses his arm against Derek’s and the world finally feels like it’s been tilted back into place. 

“Yeah,” Dex murmurs. “Yeah, I wanna do it again.”

Derek doesn’t take Dex’s hand, but he’s close.

Faber is in his line of view the next time Derek talks. “Did you tell C?” he asks.

Dex glances at him. There’s a furrow in his brow that wasn’t there before. “No,” Dex says. “I didn’t think I should until we talked about it, so I haven’t said anything yet. Why, did you tell him?”

“No!” Derek responds quickly. “I had the same thought. Not until we talked about it. Idk, he was just giving me this look this morning, like he knew. It was kinda creepy. I think he might legitimately know everything that goes on with this team.”

“Chowder the Wise,” Dex agrees solemnly. Derek grins.

“Do you want to tell him?” he presses. It feels important, for some reason, getting an answer to this question.

Dex looks straight forward. Derek can see him tracking Ollie and Wicks as they walk in front of them, far enough ahead that there’s no way they could overhear. At the doors to Faber, Derek can already see Ford and her keys unlocking the front door so players can start shuffling in. Derek is aware of all of them, but he feels hyper-aware of Dex in this moment—especially as Dex presses his fingers along Derek’s, as though he has the intent to hold Derek’s hand.

“We can,” he finally concedes. “I would be comfortable with it, if that were something you wanted to do.”

Derek is riding the thrill of Dex’s hand brushing against his right now, reveling in how just a simple touch can send shivers through his entire body. Derek doesn’t want a secret relationship, and he never has, but there is something undeniably romantic about how this exchange is something that only the two of them know about.

“After the second date?” Out of the corner of his eye, Derek can see Dex’s mouth twitch, fighting off a grin at the mention of going out again. “Then we can tell him.”

“Good plan,” Dex agrees. Then, almost as an afterthought, he adds, “For once.”

Derek shoves at his arm. “Oh, you’re _ so _ funny. I have plenty of good ideas, Poindexter.”

“Does that include the time you suggested we all learn how to pole dance and ordered one for the Haus an hour later?” Dex asks. There’s a teasing glint in his eye that Derek has never noticed before. It’s captivating.

“I was drunk,” Derek sniffs. He wonders if he looks half as besotted as Dex does right now. If that’s the case, they won’t be able to keep this on the downlow for long at all. “How many good ideas do you have when _ you’re _drunk?”

“Rarely any.”

When they make it inside Faber, they’re the only ones in the hall. It makes Dex brave enough to crowd Derek’s space until they’re both leaning up against the wall. Derek knows they only have, at most, a minute before Bitty and Chowder walk in the doors. Even still, his entire body is thrumming at the possibility of Dex kissing him like this, here. Dex is looking at Derek like he wants to, too. 

Dex’s hand falls onto Derek’s hip. “When can we go out again?” he asks. His voice is almost as desperate as Derek feels in this moment.

“After the game?” Derek suggests breathlessly. “Thursday?”

A helpless expression crosses Dex’s face. “What if we lose?”

“We won’t.”

Dex exhales sharply and takes a step back. “Are we doing this at a bad time?” he whispers. The words come out in a rush. “I mean, _ fuck_, Nursey… We’re literally in the Frozen Four. Our championship game could be on Saturday.”

“It will be,” Derek corrects.

Dex runs his fingers through his hair. Behind them, Bitty and Chowder walk by with their heads bowed close together. Derek isn’t sure that they even notice Dex and Derek standing there. Dex watches them for a moment, shoulders drawn tight, as they disappear around the corner. The sound of the locker room door opening and closing echoes through the building.

When he speaks again, Dex doesn’t meet Derek’s gaze, and it quieter than before “Would it be better if we held off on this?”

Derek steps forward. His hands are already reaching for Dex. “I’m not gonna lie to you, dude, I don’t think we can pause this.” Dex coughs awkwardly and twines his fingers with Derek’s. “I don’t know if I want to.”

“I don’t think we can, either,” Dex admits. He lets out a breath of air that’s almost a laugh, and a look of surprise flitters onto his face. “I can’t believe I’m this into you. It’s annoying.”

Derek can’t stop the laugh that breaks out of him, either. “I can’t believe I’m this into you, either. I feel like I’ve made that kind of obvious, though, with my somewhat unchill attempt to ask you out on a second date and then _ very _unchill attempt to take you out this week.”

“You’re an idiot,” Dex says fondly. He squeezes Derek’s hand.

“You like me anyways,” Derek says smugly.

Dex drops his hand when they hear the loud bang of the locker room door opening and slamming shut from down the hall. Derek only has five seconds to attempt to appear somewhat normal before Bitty appears around the corner and regards them both with an unimpressed expression.

“Practice starts in five and y’all aren’t even in your gear yet,” he sighs. “Get in the locker room now. I hope you boys haven’t been sitting out here arguing.”

Dex snorts out a strangled laugh. He picks both of their gear bags up from where they’d been dropped when he’d pressed Derek against the wall, and hands Derek his. “Don’t worry, Bitty, we haven’t been arguing,” Dex says seriously. He laughs again, nose wrinkling.

Bitty looks at Derek after Dex brushes by, headed to the locker room. “Is everything okay?” Bitty asks. His eyebrow is raised.

Derek repeats the same sentiment he gave to Chowder earlier when he asked the same question. “Peachy,” he says, and he truly means it this time.

He can’t keep the grin off his face for the entire practice.

* * *

The next few days pass by in a flurry of activity, until suddenly Derek finds himself being shoved into an airplane with the rest of his team and squeezed into a spot in between Dex and Chowder. The plane is thrumming with excited energy and nerves, and no one pays him any mind when he grabs onto Dex’s hand and interlaces their fingers.

It’s a mad rush from the airport to the hotel to the arena, and all at once it’s _ happening_. Derek used to dream about playing high-stakes hockey like this, back when he was only six years old and strapping on his first pair of skates. Now they’re here—the arena is filled with people wearing red, filled with cameras, filled with reporters. Derek’s parents are somewhere in the stands. Dex skates up next to him and presses his arm into Derek’s.

“We got this, you know,” Dex tells him. Like Derek, he looks as though he can’t believe they’ve made it this far.

“I know we do,” Derek agrees. He taps his stick against Dex’s. “You nervous, Poindexter?”

Dex takes a deep breath. “Terrified,” he admits. “Bitty, you know… he brought us here. He turned out to be one hell of a captain. And I want this for him, so bad. I want it for us too, but… I don’t want to let him down.”

Derek waits until Dex looks at him. Even with nerves etched into his features, Dex is stunning to look at. Derek knows he would take his hand if they weren’t in a room full of people. “We aren’t going to let him down,” Derek insists. “We got this.”

Dex’s lips quirk up, the ghost of a smile. “We got this,” he repeats.

“Hell yeah,” Derek says. He takes a few strides forward, then turns on his heel to look at Dex even as he skates backwards. “Hey, do me a favor? When we win, don’t pull a Zimmermann on me.”

That gets the startled laugh that Derek was hoping for. Under his helmet, Dex’s cheeks are flushed pink. There’s a grin on his face that Derek doesn’t think will disappear for a while. “In your goddamn dreams, Nurse.”

It’s an intense game.

Minnesota-Duluth’s defense is strong, and their goalie fights hard. Derek watches across the ice, as Chowder’s face grows scarier and more focused each time the other goalie makes a save. Derek loses track of how many times Murray and Hall throw in a new line. The first period passes without a point. Dex gets himself thrown into the penalty box for going after a guy who rushed Chowder. The coaches end up pulling Dex for the rest of the period and putting Bully on Derek’s line to replace him, and while Bully’s a great player, Derek’s chemistry with him just isn’t the same.

The second period ends without a point, too.

Dex is shaking when they sit down in the locker room. Derek puts his arms around Dex’s waist and it doesn’t feel like it’s enough.

“We _ got _this,” he repeats, because he needs to hear it himself.

They’ve got it.

Chowder is unstoppable. Minnesota-Duluth grows desperate and their shots get sloppier, but gain frequency. Chowder still lets nothing pass. When Derek catches a glimpse of his face behind the mask, he is terrified for Minnesota-Duluth. Chowder shoots Derek a wink when he catches his eye.

They’ve _ got _it.

It happens in a matter of seconds.

Bitty gets possession of the puck and is down the ice faster than Derek has ever seen him skate before. Fierstein from Minnesota-Duluth takes off after him and squares up for a check, but Dex catches Fierstein before he can even get close to Bitty. Fierstein is pinned against the boards so hard his helmet rattles.

Derek gets a breakaway. He sees it unfold in his head before it does on the ice, so when he skates over to the left he’s there right as the hole opens up. He’s wide open for a shot. Vargas from Minnesota-Duluth skates forward to steal the puck from Bitty. Bitty locks eyes with Derek and passes blindly. The puck connects right on Derek’s tape.

He takes the shot.

The goalie misses it by two inches.

Dex slams into his side. He’s screaming in Derek’s ear at the same time the goal horn blows. His arms go around Derek’s waist, and Derek feels so _ warm _he’s sure he’s going to melt the ice. They have barely half a second to themselves before Bitty’s clinging on, too, then Whiskey and Ollie and Wicks join and Derek’s knees nearly buckle under all of it. There’s two minutes left on the clock—if it weren’t for that Derek is certain the rest of the team would have rushed him, too.

The arena is booming as the announcer’s voice rings through the speakers. “And what an incredible shot from Samwell’s defense, number 28, Derek Nurse!”

Derek is pretty sure that this is the greatest he’s ever felt, as he listens to an arena full of people cheer at his name.

Minnesota-Duluth doesn’t catch up.

Derek isn’t on the ice when the final buzzer sounds, so he joins his other teammates as they flood the ice. He gets lost in the hugs and the cheering, and loses track of how many people jump on him. Eventually, he gets his hands on Chowder, pulling him into a bone-crushing hug.

“A goddamn _ shutout_, C, you _ crushed it_,” Derek yells in his ear.

“Uh, says the point-scorer of the game!” Chowder shouts back. “That shot was top-shelf, Nursey!

“We’re moving on,” Derek says giddily. The words burst out of him, half-hysterical. He pulls away from Chowder so that he can shout, “We’re _ moving on_!”

Dex’s arms wrap around him from behind, spinning him in a circle on the ice. Dex laughs and it’s so infectious that Derek can’t help but laugh, too. He’s not sure when they lost their helmets but he’s grateful for it. Dex presses a kiss to the top of Nursey’s head, sweaty helmet hair and all.

The rest of their celebration is kind of a blur for Derek.

* * *

Coaches, captain, and manager all give them explicit instructions to go to bed once they make it back to the hotel. They’re all riding the post-game high and the excitement that comes with advancing to the final, but everyone nods when Bitty instructs them and Ford presses key cards into their hands. There’s no arguing as everyone starts shuffling towards the elevator.

But Dex looks at Derek and they share a significant look. There was an agreement a few days ago; they have a second date to go on.

Ford gave them the same room assignment, which Derek thinks makes it easier for them to sneak out. Derek and Dex both change out of their game day suits quietly, Derek thinking about where they’re going to go. He waits by the hotel door for Dex to finish tying his shoes and when Dex meets him, he takes Derek’s hand in his. Derek’s heart races.

It’s quiet in the hall, which means the rest of the boys have taken the advice of the bosses and gone to bed. Dex squeezes Derek’s hand as they walk down the hall. They almost make it to the elevators before they hear a door click open and both freeze in their tracks.

“Where are you boys going?” Ford asks. Her voice is scarily calm.

Derek turns around sheepishly. “Um, out?” he tries. Ford likes him, she always has—but that doesn’t apparently doesn’t matter tonight. She gives him a flat, unimpressed look. Derek wonders if she’s channeling Lardo.

“You think that you’re exempt from the instructions given to the whole team?” she asks them.

Dex clears his throat. He gives a little wave with the hand still wrapped around Derek’s. “Um, we were just trying to go on a date. Our second date. Ever.” His face flushes.

Ford laughs. “Right,” she says, obviously not believing them. She looks over to Derek again, and her expression drops. Derek can only imagine how infatuated he looks right now, as he keeps sparing glances at Dex. “Oh, for real? _ Oh! _That’s great. Congrats, you guys.”

“Thanks,” Dex chokes out. He points to the elevator with his free hand. “Can we please go?”

“Oh,” Ford says again. She looks between them both. She’s been thrown for a loop; Derek can see it written on her face. Eventually, she says, “No drinking, no drugs, no strip clubs, _ nothing _ illegal. You’re allowed dinner and a movie. And you have to be back in time for breakfast. If you’re late, I _ will _ tell Bitty the reason why.”

“We won’t be late,” Dex says resolutely.

“Maybe disheveled in appearance, but not late,” Derek agrees. Dex blushes again.

Ford wrinkles her nose. “Oh, you guys are _ gross _ gross. Great, that’s what we need around the Haus, _ more _ couples like that. Go then, before I change my mind. And boys—I’m not kidding. Dinner or a movie but nothing else.”

“Yessir,” Derek says. He gives her a little salute.

In the elevator, Dex dissolve into giggles. “She’s terrifying,” he chokes out. He’s laughing so hard that he curls into Derek’s side. Derek feels a surge of fondness rush through his body. “She’s like, the smallest person I’ve ever met and she’s as scary as Lardo. Oh my god, I thought we were going to die.”

“I could have ordered room service to the room,” Derek tells him. “We could have done that for the date.”

  
Dex curls his fingers into Derek’s shirt. “No,” he says. “We’re going out.”

Derek feels warm all over.

They find a late enough showing of the new Power Rangers movie that they’re able to grab a quick meal at a small Mexican place. They buy as many tacos as they can then crowd into the same side of the booth and dig in. Dex’s leg presses against Derek’s the whole time. There isn’t much to talk about, with how much they have to eat, but Dex still finds the time to compliment Derek’s game at least three times.

  
“Game winner,” Dex says smugly. There’s a smudge of hot sauce dribbling down his chin and Derek still finds him attractive. “I’m out on a date with the _ game winner _of the Frozen Four Semi-Final.”

Derek is sure his grin is the brightest thing in the restaurant. “Lucky you, I guess.”

Dex suggests they walk to the movie theater. It’s ten minutes away, and nice enough out in the Chicago air that Derek agrees to it. Dex takes his hand on the street and smiles softly to himself.

“Didn’t ever think I’d end up here,” Dex admits. It’s not crowded on the street, but he whispers it anyway.

“In the championship game?” Derek asks. He understands what Dex means. They had this chance two years ago, came close enough that they could taste it on the tip of their tongues, only to lose it all. Derek hadn’t let himself hope they’d find their way back to the finals.

“No,” Dex says softly. “I never thought I’d actually get a date with you.”

Derek’s steps falter.

Dex lets out a breathless laugh. “God, I should be embarrassed I’m even telling you this. I had a crush on you, you know? A big old, stupid, embarrassing crush. I was probably one step away from doodling your name into my class notes.”

“You had a crush on me?” Derek presses. There’s a fluttering in his chest that he hopes never goes away.

“Still do.” Dex rolls his eyes. “But it’s different now. It’s better.”

God, Derek could kiss him right here on the street. He slows to a stop and pulls Dex with him, still holding onto his hand. Dex’s eyes widen. Derek could kiss him, right here. A second kiss, technically, but the first real one for both of them.

“Dex.”

“Nurse.”

His heart could beat right out of his chest here. Dex is one of the most extraordinary things he’s ever seen, and illuminated by the lamplight is no exception to that. Derek can’t read the expression on Dex’s face.

Derek blinks. As much as he wants to, he knows this isn’t the right time or the right place. He gives Dex an easy smile. “Yo. I’m glad we did end up here, okay? And it is better. This… is _ really _good.”

Dex lets out a breathy exhale. “We’re going to miss the movie,” he grumbles. Even still, his cheeks are a delightful pink and he’s smiling to himself.

There’s no one else in the theater, but they sit at the back anyway. Dex curls into Derek’s side and their hands brush as they reach for the popcorn; it’s every bit as cliche as Derek thought it could be, and he loves it anyway. He loves this side of Dex that is tactile and affectionate. He’s still swatting at Derek’s hand every time he reaches for some popcorn, which is still the same Dex that Derek recognizes, but he also rests his head on Derek’s shoulder and shifts closer every few minutes.

Eventually Derek sets the popcorn down so he can pull Dex more fully against him. There’s no great way to cuddle in movie theater seats, but he’s a determined guy. Dex’s face is practically pressed against his neck.

“You’re warm,” Dex murmurs. His breath tickles Derek’s skin.

“And you are secretly a cuddler,” Derek says back. He finds Dex’s hand and holds it. A rush of excitement still courses through his body. “You’re a big old softie underneath that mean exterior, aren’t you?”

Dex huffs. “Fuck off. No.”

Derek laughs. Dex shifts impossibly closer.

“Watch the movie,” Derek whispers. He can practically feel Dex’s eye roll.

It’s not even the most romantic date Derek’s ever gone on. He has been charmed, even done the wooing at some high-end places. Derek can’t remember the last time he wore a hoodie on a date. This definitely isn’t the most romantic one, but it feels like it by far.

Perhaps he should be terrified of how easy it is to settle into this. Dating Dex is as easy as breathing. Blows land softer now than they ever have, and Derek can’t help the rush of excitement that runs through him every time Dex teases him. It’s only been a week, if he’s being generous, and already Derek is content with this. He wants _ more _of it. He wants to wake up tomorrow in the same bed as Dex and he wants to do it again and again. Derek wants to memorize how it feels to have Dex tucked against him, Dex pressed close by. He’s grown addicted to the feeling of holding Dex’s hand.

He supposes this is what people mean when they say date your best friend. He just never expected it could feel like this.

Derek’s throat tightens. In the empty movie theater, he whispers, “Thanks for accidentally kissing me.”

They wouldn’t be here without it, Derek is sure.

Dex lets out a small chuckle. “Thanks for not throwing me out of your car for it.”

Derek hums in response. His eyes are wet. Emotions have run far too high today, but still he feels he has to excuse the way he gets choked up. He lets out a tiny laugh of his own. “It’s a shame you’re refusing to kiss me a second time.”

“Oh, I’m refusing?” Dex asks. Derek can feel it when he smiles.

“You didn’t even kiss me at the end of our first date. And that was a _ really _good date.”

Dex nods slowly. “Can’t a guy want to make sure everyone’s on the same page?”

“Dex,” Derek sighs. Dex makes an affirming noise against Derek’s throat. “I am over one hundred percent on the same page. Just in case you needed that clearing up.”

“Good to know.”

“_Dex_.”

There’s a breathless laugh, and by this point their faces are tipped so close together that Derek isn’t even sure which one of them it came from. His mouth is curling into a smile. There is a warmth that comes from being this close to Dex, an anticipation that ignites something in Derek’s belly. This moment feels more intimate than Derek had expected it to.

“You’re such a dork,” Dex whispers, and then his lips are on Derek’s.

It’s nothing like the first time Dex kissed him. This is more than just a quick press of one mouth to another. Dex kisses him now like he’s got a hypothesis and Derek is holding the solution. There is nothing tentative about it; Dex’s lips move leisurely but surely. His hand comes up to cup Derek’s face, fingertips pressing gently against his jaw. It makes the kiss sweeter, almost.

Dex pulls back for only a second, before he leans back in and kisses Derek once, twice, three times more. His eyes are closed and there’s a satisfied smile on his face when he finally pulls away.

Derek’s soul is glowing. He could illuminate the whole dark theater if someone looked at him right now. Of all the things he had hoped for, out of everything he’d imagined, it was nothing like that. Derek couldn’t have dreamt that up even if he had tried.

Dex raises their hands that are still curled together and places one final kiss on the back of Derek’s palm. “Pay attention to the movie now,” Dex chirps. His face is flushed.

“After that?” Derek asks. His own voice sounds dazed. “I don’t think I _ can_.”

Even in the dark of the theater, Derek can see it when Dex blushes. “Shut up,” he mutters. There’s still a huge grin on his face. Smug. Derek likes the expression on him. “You’re fine. We’re not making out in the back of a movie theater.”

Derek laughs.

Dex doesn’t kiss him again while they’re at the theater, and not even again when they catch a Lyft back to the hotel. He does, however, put his hands on Derek’s hips and crowd him against the elevator the moment the door shuts. Derek’s skin is on fire where Dex is touching him. Derek’s hoodie is rucked up, Dex’s fingers pressing into his skin. Dex is a warm presence where he hesitates, just short of kissing Derek.

“Opposed to making out in an elevator, too, then?” Derek asks. His breath hits Dex’s lips and Dex shudders against him.

“No,” Dex says offhandedly. Heat pools in Derek’s gut. “Just making you work for it.”

Derek arches up until his body is flush against Dex’s. His kiss is slow and filthy, and Derek is desperate to prove that he can take Dex apart, too. Dex’s hands grip Derek’s hips and pull him impossibly closer. Derek threads his fingers in Dex’s hair to change the angle of the kiss.

Dex has soft lips, and Derek learns pretty quickly that he’s a fan of small bites. Derek tugs on Dex’s bottom lip and gently scrapes his teeth along it, reveling in the shudder that runs through Dex’s body. Dex pulls his hands from Derek’s hips and reaches up.

Derek catches him by the wrist. “Just not the hair, okay?” he asks softly. Dex nods and presses forward again. His hands change direction and they settle on Derek’s neck, giving him more access to pull Derek closer. Derek shifts his own hands until he’s trailing them down Dex’s back and eventually slipping them into Dex’s back pockets. Derek thinks these are the same jeans he wore on their first date, his new ones, the tighter pair that Derek didn’t spend enough time appreciating when they first went out.

Dex makes a strangled sort of sound against Derek’s mouth when Derek finally gets his hands on Dex’s ass. He pulls away from the kiss with a gasp, pressing his forehead against Derek’s shoulder. “Holy shit,” he pants.

“Holy shit, indeed,” Derek agrees with a grin. He’s breathless himself.

“We should,” Dex starts to say. He takes a deep breath. “Christ. Okay. We should slow down.”

Derek eases up. “We can go as slow as you want.” Dex raises his head; his eyes are frantic when they catch Derek’s. “Seriously, dude, I wasn’t trying to rush this and I’m sorry if I did.”

“No,” Dex interrupts. His neck turns pink. “It’s just. We’re in an elevator, and we haven’t even selected our floor yet.”

Derek turns in surprise to look at the button panel. Sure enough, no button is lit. The elevator hasn’t even moved since they got on.

“We are _ so _lucky no one called the elevator,” he breathes out. Dex snorts out a laugh. He starts giggling harder when Derek reaches out to press the button for the fourth floor, his laughter bouncing off the walls as the elevator starts to rise. He hides his face in Derek’s shoulder again.

“Sorry,” he gasps out in between snickers. “It’s not funny.”

Derek can’t look away from him. “God, you’re so fucking cute.”

Dex takes a small step away from him, and not even two seconds later the elevator comes to a stop and the doors slide open. For a moment, they stay where they are and look at one another. “Do you have the room key?” Derek asks.

Dex turns red.

“Not like—” Derek rushes. “Just. Oh my god, we have the same room assignment, okay? But I’m no—we don’t have to—”

“Don’t give yourself an aneurysm,” Dex interrupts. He puts both of his hands on Derek’s chest. There’s a twinkle in his eye, shy but happy, and Derek’s heart swoops at the sight of it. “We have to be up in, like, three hours for check-out. We should just go to bed.”

  
Derek lets out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding. “Okay,” he breathes. He covers one of Dex’s hands with his own and holds on tight. “Yeah. We should probably just go to bed.”

They manage to make it to the room without incident, despite the fact that even just holding Dex’s hand right now is enough to get Derek’s heart rate rising. When the door closes behind them, Derek decides it’s his turn to crowd Dex against a wall and takes full advantage of the opportunity.

His arms bracket either side of Dex’s shoulders. Dex looks at him with wide eyes, lips kiss-swollen, and hair in disarray from where Derek ran his fingers through it. Derek’s gaze drops back to Dex’s lips. “Sup?”

Dex’s mouth curves into a smile; it’s his annoyed grin, but somehow it looks more charming now. Derek looks back up. “You got me pinned against a wall and your best line is ‘sup’? Why did I voluntarily ask you out?”

Derek answers him with a kiss. He’s frantic in a way he hasn’t been all night, desperate to keep his hands on Dex now that they’re alone and behind closed doors. Dex is touching him everywhere, trailing his hands across Derek’s shoulders and chest and down his back.

“Never mind,” Dex finally gasps out. “I’d ask you out a hundred times.”

Derek lets out a derisive snort. “Just a hundred? Guess I’m gonna have to try harder then, Poindexter.”

Dex groans. “God, you’re going to kill me.”

“Yeah, but what a way to go.”

They kiss in the entryway, and they kiss again in front of Dex’s suitcase, and eventually they settle in onto one of the queen beds and curl their arms around each other and kiss even more. Derek’s entire existence is vibrating at a high frequency right now. He can’t get enough of it, even when the kisses turn lazier and slower and he knows it’s not going anywhere tonight.

Derek brings it to an end when his eyelids feel so droopy he’s sure he’s going to pass out in a second. He rests his head on Dex’s chest and throws an arm around him. “Mmm, you’re so cozy,” Derek murmurs.

He can feel Dex’s breath of disbelief hit his forehead. “You’re just sleep deprived,” he answers. “Been a busy day with the win and the date and all the kissing and things.”

“No,” Derek argues. He couldn’t open his eyes if he tried. “You’re still cozy.”

Dex doesn’t reply; or, if he does, Derek is too close to sleep to hear it. Then he feels Dex press his lips gently to Derek’s cheek, and something deep in his chest settles into place. “Guess I am,” Dex whispers.

Derek falls asleep not even one moment later.

* * *

They have a 7am flight from Chicago back to Boston and a short drive back to Samwell Friday morning. Most of them miss their first morning classes. Derek barely walks through the door of his econ lecture class before the students erupt into claps for him. They spent the first twenty minutes asking him about the game before settling into the lecture.

There’s a text from Dex on his phone waiting for when Derek walks out of class. He stops in his tracks to read it and is helpless to stop the grin that splits his face. Someone from class jostles him from behind.

“I know that look,” they laugh, smirking at Derek. “So you won your semi-finals _ and _you got yourself a little action out of it. You’ve sure had a busy week, Derek.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” Derek calls back.

Dex has afternoon classes all day. While a few teammates opted out of all of their classes for the Friday, Dex and Derek had agreed they should go. Derek regrets it, as he stares down at the text from Dex admitting that he’s missing Derek right now.

Derek’s next class is across campus from Dex’s, and it isn’t smart for Derek to start walking towards the CS building. His feet lead him that way regardless. Dex’s class gets out in five minutes, which is about how long it’ll take Derek to walk there.

His phone chimes, alerting him to a text from Chowder. He swipes up to dismiss it and finishes his text to Dex.

**To: dexington iii**

**[1:14pm]:** did u do something to the real dex?? he’d never willingly admit he misses me

**From: dexington iii**

**[1:15pm]:** Don’t make me take it back

Derek grins. He can see the Comp Sci building now, and there’s a spot near the doors where he can hang out until Dex exits.

**To: dexington iii**

**[1:15pm]: **you wouldn’t dare, you miss me too much

He gets another text from Chowder, just a series of question marks. Derek’s finger hesitates over the message before his phone vibrates as a new text from Dex comes in.

**From: dexington iii**

**[1:16pm]: **The good news is that this class is over. Maybe my next one will get cancelled. Might be nice if we could hang out a little bit before practice tonight.

**[1:16pm]: **No one really checks on the basement anyway

Derek’s steps falter as his stomach leaps into his chest. He can’t keep the grin off his face. He should feel ridiculous, standing in the middle of the sidewalk, with a stupid smile and lovestruck eyes. He’s not too bothered, though.

**To: dexington iii**

**[1:17pm]:** for as much as u act like u don’t have moves, you got MOVES poindexter

Dex walks out of the building with his phone in his hands. He doesn’t look up, so he doesn’t see Derek lingering near the wall. There’s a dopey grin on Dex’s face, but Derek is pretty sure he’s wearing the same look right now.

**From: dexington iii**

**[1:18pm]:** Who said I act like I don’t have moves?

“Damn, you think of that line all by yourself, Dexy?” Derek asks, letting out a low whistle. Dex nearly drops his phone in surprise, looking up frantically before he catches sight of Derek.

“What are you doing here?” he asks sharply. “Your class is literally all the way across campus.”

“And your class was literally all the way right here and you said you missed me.”

Dex rolls his eyes. Still, there’s a hint of a smile threatening to break loose. “So you thought, fuck my education, I’m gonna go torment Dex?”

Derek pushes himself off the wall. Dex steps forward, too, until they’re only separated by an inch or two. Derek’s hands are aching to reach out and touch Dex. He holds his ground. “Nah. I thought, I could probably be a few minutes late for an elective credit class, and I’m gonna go get a kiss out of Dex.”

Dex snorts. “Well, that’s what you get for assuming. Who says I’m gonna kiss you in a public space anyways?”

“I’m hoping you’ll find it within you,” Derek says easily. He loops a finger into Dex’s belt loop and tugs him even closer. Dex is laughing even as he rolls his eyes again. His hands settle onto Derek’s shoulders. “For reals though, if you want me to stop, I will.”

“Nah,” Dex tells him decisively. “I’m into it.”

This could be their one-hundredth kiss for all Derek knows, but it still makes his toes curl the same way their first one did. It’s brief, barely a press of lips together before Dex starts grinning too hard and ruins the whole thing.

“You’re such a dork, you know that?” he mutters.

Derek beams. “Yeah. But you’re _ into it_.”

Dex kisses him again. Derek practically melts into it, as much as he can from where they’re standing in the middle of campus. Despite the fact that he just teased Dex for it, Derek has to admit that he’s startlingly into this, too. He’s settling himself into the middle of this thing with relationship with Dex like it’s the easiest thing he could possibly do.

“You should really get to class,” Dex murmurs, when he finally pulls away.

“_You _get to class.”

Dex shakes his head as he laughs. “God, you’re a child. My class is like, right here.”

Derek sighs. “What time will you be back at the Haus?”

“Right after 4.”

“And practice is at 4:30.” Derek drops his head onto Dex’s shoulder. “This is lowkey stupid. It should not be this hard to get some alone time, you feel?”

Dex laughs and it jostles Derek’s head. “Doesn’t help that we started this right in the middle of the busiest part of hockey season, Nurse. We’re trying to be champions here.”

“And I’m trying to get you alone here. Hella unexpected but you’re kind of addictive, Poindorkster.”

“Calling me a dork is not going to get you more kisses in the future.”

Derek hums. “But you called me a dork and I still kissed you, so…”

Dex sighs, long-suffering, but even still Derek knows it’s not serious. Dex does give him one last kiss. After one reluctant pout, Derek lets go of Dex and steps back. He points towards the direction of his own class. “I should start heading to class. I’ll meet you at the Haus, ‘kay?”

“It’ll have to be,” Dex mutters. “I’ll try not to miss you again so you don’t walk right out of your lecture.”

“Aw, Dexy, I know you’ll be missing me anyway.”

It all feels so surreal, and he can’t keep the grin off his face as he hurries off to class. He makes it in time, barely, but the professor isn’t in there when he walks through the door so Derek slinks off to his seat. He’s feeling all kinds of warm inside, like his nerves are fireworks. He’s not sure anything could ruin his mood right now.

Then he pulls out his phone, and sees the seven missed texts from Chowder.

**From: shark chow**

**[1:14pm]:** yo my class let out early and i’m right next to you!! do you want me to walk you over to your last class?! :DDDD

**From: shark chow**

**[1:16pm]:** ??????????????????????????????????

**From: shark chow**

**[1:19pm]:** doesn’t your class let out at 1:10ish? is it running late???

**From: shark chow**

**[1:25pm]:** hello did you DIE?

**From: shark chow**

**[1:29pm]:** okay well your next class starts in 10 minutes and i don’t wanna run so i guess i’m not waiting for you? :( sorry bro :(((

**From: shark chow**

**[1:30pm]:** for what it’s worth don’t actually be dead that would make me sad

**From: shark chow**

**[1:43pm]:** um were you with dex?

Derek’s heart drops to his toes.

His professor shuffles in and sets her bag down on the table. “Sorry I’m a little late, let’s get started, shall we? Turn to page two-forty-eight.”

Derek yanks his textbook out of his backpack and flips to the page before picking up his phone again.

**To: shark chow**

**[1:44pm]:** what why would i be with dex lol

He sends it before he even reads over it. Something unpleasant curls in his stomach. He doesn’t like lying to Chowder, but he hates feeling like he has to imply he wouldn’t spend time with Dex.

**From: shark chow**

**[1:45pm]:** braden townsend just came from the cs building and he said he saw you waiting outside? dex’s classes are all primarily in the cs building? also you guys hang out all the time it wouldn’t be out of the norm for you

Derek sinks in his seat. He puts his phone down when the lecture starts, but his notes are distracted and scattered as he keeps thinking about the texts from Chowder.

There’s another message when he picks his phone back up and checks.

**From: shark chow**

**[1:55pm]:** like dude i don’t care if you went to say hey to dex but like you just could have replied to my text to let me know!!

Guilt settles into the base of Derek’s spine. He thinks back on the texts he dismissed from Chowder while he was too busy talking to Dex. That feels like a betrayal alone, never mind the fact that he and Dex haven’t told Chowder yet about the dates they’ve gone on.

**To: shark chow**

**[2:08pm]:** i’m sorry c, i was a man on a mission and i wasn’t paying attention :( i’ll make it up to you i swear

His phone doesn’t light up with another text for a while. It’s all he can do to stay focused during lecture, and he’s almost a hundred percent sure that when he reads over his notes later, they’re going to be useless to him.

Their professor ends the class early, as she normally does on Fridays to give them a bit of a break. Derek shoves his textbook and notes back into his bag carelessly and practically sprints out the door. There’s no new messages from Chowder, but Derek is pretty sure he can catch him at the Haus. He walks a bit faster than he normally does.

Chowder isn’t in the kitchen or the living room. His bag is by the door, though, so Derek knows he’s around. He grabs two Gatorades out of the fridge—light blue, because Chowder knows they’re the best— and hurries up the stairs. He kicks his shoes off into his room and knocks with his elbow on Chowder’s door.

There’s a moment of hesitation before Chowder’s voice rings out, “Come in,” and Derek nudges the door open with his foot.

Chowder is sitting on his bed, wrapped in a blanket. There’s a tv show paused on his laptop and empty protein bar wrappers on the ground. He sits up more when Derek walks in, making room on his bed for Derek to climb up and join him.

“Sup, man?” Derek asks. He hands Chowder one of the Gatorades. “You good?”

“Chyeah,” Chowder says. He twists off the lid of the Gatorade then fiddles with it in his fingers. “I’m always good.”

His response stops Derek short. Derek hesitates from where he was raising his own bottle to his mouth. Chowder isn’t meeting his eyes, and despite the fact that he opened his Gatorade bottle, he hasn’t even tried to take a drink yet. 

“C, not gonna lie, the ‘I’m always good’ response usually means that someone is hella not good at the moment.”

Chowder lets out a long exhale. He closes his eyes and leans back until his back is against the wall. With the hand not still holding the bottle cap, he rubs at his eyes. “I can’t lie to you!” he groans. “I’m super nervous, Derek! We’re playing in the championship tomorrow. What if I screw it up again? What if I’m not good enough and I let Bitty down? I already let Jack down, I _ can’t_—”

“Chowder, Chowder!” Derek rushes to say. He puts the lid back on his drink and tosses it to the side. “Bro, take a deep breath for a sec. Last time wasn’t your fault, absolutely no one thinks that. Hell, even Jack Zimmermann told you that! Plus, you’re way too talented to be having this much of a spiral before a game. What happened to that motherfucker between the poles? That dude isn’t scared of anything.”

It’s not the right thing to say. Chowder lets out a strangled laugh that sounds more like a sob at the end of it. Derek reaches up and grabs Chowder’s hands with his own.

“That motherfucker is terrified of letting his captain down for the second time,” Chowder admits. “I wasn’t good enough last time, you know?”

Derek searches Chowder’s face. There’s anxiety written into his features, the same kind Derek sees in the mirror often enough. The feeling of inadequacy that never quite goes away. He’s never known the right thing to say to himself. He hopes he can find the right thing to say now.

“Chris—”

Chowder tries to laugh again. “And, like, dude I don’t mean this in a bad way, and I probably have no room to complain because I wanted you guys to get along for _ years _ , but you and Dex are spending, like, so much time together recently, so there’s that whole situation and honestly it’s so hard to have two best friends and _ not _feel like this sometimes, but I’m so sorry—”

“_Chris_,” Derek interrupts. His heart is in his throat. He knows now, why he felt so guilty earlier. Chowder is his best friend; he’s been there since their _ frog year_, and Derek and Dex are keeping this—this _ thing _ from him. It doesn’t matter that they’ve only managed to go out a few times. This still feels big; it feels monumental, even. This thing, that he’s starting with Dex, it feels more real than anything Derek has ever started before. “Bro, this is _ so _not your thing to feel sorry for. I’m sorry that you’ve been feeling that way.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Chowder tells him. His tone says otherwise. “I’m glad you guys are hanging out! I’ve wanted this for years! I’m just in a weird place right now.”

Fuck. Derek hates this. It seems like everywhere he turns, there’s another reason that his and Dex’s timing is bad right now.

“Chowder, can I tell you a secret?” Derek asks quietly. He’s scared to raise his voice. Somehow, telling someone else about his thing with Dex makes it even more real. “Before I start monologuing about how great you are?”

Chowder gives him a small nod.

Derek closes his eyes and hopes Dex meant it when he said he’d be okay with Chowder knowing. “The reason I’ve been spending more time with Dex recently is because we’ve been going on dates,” he admits. He won’t open his eyes. Part of him is too scared to know what will face him if he does. “He kind of kissed me the other day on accident, and I guess neither of us could stop thinking about it, so he asked me out and I said yes and now we’ve been on two dates.” Derek takes a deep breath. “In the cheesiest way possible, I can’t wait to go out with him again,” he adds in a small voice.

“Holy shit,” Chowder breathes. Derek cracks open one eye to glance at him. Chowder squeezes his hands where he’s still holding onto Derek. “Dude.”

Derek lets out a breathless laugh. “C, I know.”

“You and Dex.”

“_Chowder_. I know!”

Chowder whistles lowly. “Like, I always lowkey kind of wondered, but I never thought you guys would actually get your shit together enough. Wow! _ You and Dex! _Okay, that’s an acceptable reason for you guys to be ghosting me.”

Derek makes an exasperated sound. “_No_, C, it really isn’t. We should be here for you. Frogs for life, no matter what, you know? Bonds of friendship and all that. Especially right now when things are so stressful. Like, C, I hope you know you’re the best athlete I’ve ever met. You’re just a natural, dude. Like I promise you that you’re a good enough player. Fuck, dude, you literally told me last week that you were already getting emails from GMs hoping to meet with you.”

Chowder’s skin turns bright pink. “That means nothing.”

“False, I would argue that it means everything,” Derek insists. “And Chowder, this is the part I really want you to hear. If we lose on Saturday—and that is a big fucking _ if_, buddy—then it’s not on you. Wins and losses aren’t dependant on you. You goalies have such big egos.”

Chowder does laugh at that. “It’s hard, you know? I’m the last line of defense. That sits on your shoulders.”

Derek bumps Chowder’s arm with his own. “And I’m your line of defense. It’s on all of us, C. Let us help you carry the weight.”

“Yeah,” Chowder sighs. His head drops onto Derek’s shoulder and he snuggles in close. “It’s a team game. And we’re a great team!”

“Chyeah, we’re the fucking _ best _team. Denver has no fuckin’ idea what’s coming for them.”

Derek can feel Chowder’s smile against his shoulder.

They’re still curled around one another when Dex finds them, sometime close to 4pm. Derek can hear it as he stomps up the stairs and looks in Derek’s room. There’s a moment of hesitation before Dex’s footsteps cross the floor, and then his head pokes in the door and his gaze falls on Derek and Chowder.

His eyes calculate the scene. Dex must reach a conclusion, because his shoulders lose tension and he shifts a bit further into the room.

“Frog cuddle pile?” Dex suggests.

Chowder lifts his head. “After practice, maybe? We should probably start getting ready. Also, new frog cuddle pile rule, you guys can’t make moves on each other if I’m in the middle of it, or frog cuddles are over forever.”

Dex splutters indignantly. “I wouldn’t—! _ Nursey_!”

“Hey, don’t blame this on me!” Derek argues. He shoves at Chowder’s shoulder and erupts into laughter when Chowder topples off the side of the bed. He takes a plush shark with him. “Fuck, C, I didn’t even touch you that hard!”

Chowder giggles from his spot on the ground, curling onto his side. “Murderer, murderer!” he gasps out.

“_Cuddle pile_!” Derek yells, and he lunges off the bed.

They’re laughing so hard and so loud, Derek can barely hear when Dex shouts, “You two are ridiculous, oh my god!”, but not even five seconds later he drops himself on top of both Derek and Chowder and ends their impromptu wrestling match. Derek gasps as his breath is knocked right out of him, and Dex uses his advantage of surprise to sprawl over the both of them.

“Dex, _ uncle_!” he cries out, and Dex gives him a wicked smile before reaching forward and pinching Derek’s side. Derek lets out an ungodly loud scream, and everyone dissolves into laughter again.

Outside the madness of the room, Derek barely makes out the stomping feet before the door swings open and Bitty sweeps into the room. “Good _ lord, _boys, you’re shaking the Haus!” he shouts. He crosses his arms, and the whole thing is so comical to Derek that he starts giggling even harder. “Can y’all pull yourselves together enough for practice?”

“Ay, ay, Captain,” Dex deadpans. Chowder cackles and Derek elbows his side to shut him up. “We’ll be down in five.”

Bitty levels them all with a halfhearted glare before turning on his heel and walking out the door. Derek shoves at Dex’s chest and pushes him until Dex is sitting up.

“Well, that was fun,” Derek grunts out. Dex extends a hand and pulls Nursey up, too. Chowder rolls onto his stomach and pushes himself up into a cobra pose. Dex clears his throat. “So, uh, I guess Nursey told you?”

“Yeah, we had a whole talk about it,” Chowder tells him. There’s a teasing glint in his eye that makes Derek flush. 

“God, that makes it sound like—all I did was tell him we were dating. _ Or_, uh, Christ, going on dates, I mean—” Derek splutters.

Chowder smirks and pushes himself up to his feet. “You couldn’t sound more guilty or embarrassed if you tried,” he says gleefully. He extends one hand to Dex and another to Derek and pulls them both up with one quick motion.

“Chill, Nurse,” Dex says. He looks extremely pleased with himself. “You can say we’re dating.”

Derek’s entire body is on fire. “Yeah?”

Dex gives him a look softer than Derek has ever seen before. “Yeah,” he allows.

Chowder looks back and forth between the two of them. “Guys, that was kind of gross to watch. Are you guys that couple? Oh my god, I can fine you guys! This is a fine!”

“Not a fineable offense,” Dex argues. He bumps Chowder’s shoulder then brushes his hand across Derek’s ass as he makes his way towards the door. He winks when Derek looks up at him in shock. “_That _might be a fineable offense.”

Derek’s laugh is short and started. _ This boy, _he thinks, and it doesn’t terrify him.

* * *

They take an early flight on Saturday morning, and as soon as they touch back down in Chicago, the coaches advise them to settle into their hotel rooms and rest. The game isn’t until tonight, and even with hours between them and the puck drop, the tension is tight enough to cut.

Chowder and Derek are sharing a room tonight, but Chowder doesn’t bat an eye when Dex knocks on the door and immediately pulls Derek into his arms when the door swings open. His grip is tight, but Derek doesn’t know how to comfort him.

He can hardly catch his breath himself.

They crash on Chowder’s bed and curl around one another and pick at a bowl of grapes until it’s almost gone. There’s some movie playing on the television, but Derek isn’t sure if any of them are watching it. Chowder is dozing off, resting against Derek’s stomach, and Dex curls against Derek’s side. Derek runs his fingers through red hair that’s gone too long without a cut.

Tonight changes everything.

Except, it won’t change this. It won’t stop Dex from curling his body alongside Derek’s. It won’t stop Dex’s lips from pressing against Derek’s throat. It won’t stop the warmth that has ignited deep inside Derek and filled him from head to toe, and it definitely won’t stop that warmth from blossoming every time Dex smiles at him.

It makes it easier, Derek thinks, to handle the nerves.

* * *

They make it to the arena three hours before puck drop. As everyone shuffles towards the locker room, Derek hesitates and looks across the ice.

Dex falls into place beside him. When the team has passed, he tangles his fingers with Derek’s. “Everything okay?” Dex asks.

“Yeah,” Derek murmurs. “I just needed a second before the madness starts. This is it.”

“This is it,” Dex agrees. “But it’s not the end.”

Derek smiles. He squeezes Dex’s hand. “Nah,” he agrees. “I guess it isn’t.”

Dex presses a kiss to Derek’s temple and flushes a soft pink as he pulls away. He looks surprised that he did it, and slightly pleased with himself. Everything about Dex is so expressive and Derek is enraptured about it. Dex can’t hide anything he’s feeling. There’s something beautiful about it, and Derek wants to get to the root of it. He wants to crawl into Dex’s chest and find his heart cavity and make a home there until he has journals full of discoveries of Dex.

“You sure are something, you know that?” Derek says out loud.

“Is that a good thing?” Dex asks.

“It’s a great thing,” Derek reassures him. He turns and grabs a handful of Dex’s hoodie and tugs him forward. “I’m gonna kiss you now.”

“You better,” Dex says, and so Derek does.

* * *

The energy in the locker room is unlike anything Derek has ever experienced before.

Everyone is flowing on the same energy. Derek is certain this is the most connected they’ve ever been. 

“Do you feel that?” Chowder whispers to him, and Derek knows he’s not the only one thinking it.

They suit up quickly, and by the time they take the ice, the excitement in the room is thick enough that Derek can taste it on his tongue. The stands are filled. The crowd cheers as Samwell takes the ice. Caitlin stands right at the glass, holding a sign that reads, _ ‘Yo, Marry Me Chris Chow!’ _

Chowder grins and flushes a dark red when he catches sight of it. Derek skates over to him and taps his stick against Chowder’s. “Do you think she means it?” he teases.

“It’s a yes from me either way,” Chowder says with a grin. “Let’s hit the ice.”

By the time Whiskey skates up to the circle for face-off, Derek is positive he’s going to vibrate right out of his uniform. He adjusts his grip on his stick. Dex flanks him on the right, and he taps the ice with his stick and grins when Derek looks at him. Whiskey crouches down, and the puck drops.

Whiskey puts it right against Bitty’s tape, and just like that, they all take off.

Derek skates harder than he ever has in his life. Bitty is a speed demon tonight, flitting across the ice and crossing the line before Denver can even blink. Derek takes off after number 6 and slams him into the boards before he can even look at Bitty.

The puck moves so fast, he can barely keep track of it. They lose possession and Denver takes it to their side before Dex swipes it from Denver’s forward and pushes the play back to Samwell. The coaches call for a line change, and Derek’s entire body feels tight as he watches the game continue from the sideline.

Tango scores, and it’s pure luck than anything else. Derek bangs his stick on the wall so hard he’s sure it’s going to break The victory is short-lived—Jones from Denver gets a breakaway on the face-off and shoots the puck right past Chowder’s glove.

Derek and Dex get thrown back in, and Derek forgets to be nervous.

First period ends without another point from either team. The coaches sit them down in the locker room and Ford passes out water bottles, and Bitty congratulates them on playing their hearts out. It goes unsaid, but everyone is thinking the same thing: they’ve got to play even harder if they’re going to do this.

Nursey grabs onto Dex’s jersey and presses their foreheads together before letting go of him and sliding his helmet back on. “This is unreal,” Derek tells him. “Does this feel insane to you?”

“Fucking nuts,” Dex agrees. He’s breathless and pink and Derek can feel the adrenaline that pours out of him. Derek’s heart is pounding in his chest. “I won’t say it, but…”

“But,” Derek repeats. They won’t say it, _ but they’re going to win this_.

Every point scored is matched by the other team during the second period. Derek’s legs burn every time he takes the ice, pushing himself harder than he can ever remember playing. He takes so many checks, he loses count. Near the end of the period, Denver’s defense throws a dirty hit, and Dex scores on the power play.

They end the second period 4-3 Samwell.

There’s not much noise in the locker room. Across the way, he can see Bitty talking to Chowder as Chowder fights back tears. Ford flits back and forth between them, handing out rags and water bottles and giving them all worried looks. It’s her first year with them, her first time _ here_, and Derek remembers what it’s like. He remembers being an underclassman in this locker room and knowing this next period determines everything.

She takes his hand when he extends it towards her, and he gives it a squeeze. “Don’t look so worried, boo,” he tells her. “Trust your boys.”

Ford gives him a strained smile. “It’s not a matter of trust, Derek, it’s a matter of hope.”

When Derek turns and catches Dex staring at him, he’s pretty sure he understands what she means.

They take the ice when third quarter starts, and the noise of the crowd dissolves into a murmur. Derek is on the bench when the puck drops. Everything he touches, he holds on to with an iron grip. Dex drops a hand on Derek’s thigh and squeezes tight. Derek isn’t sure who he’s trying to reassure.

The minutes tick on, and they get put in again. When Derek gets tripped by a Denver player but the penalty is called on him, he spends two minutes in the penalty box fuming. Dex skates by and hits his glove against the glass. Derek catches his gaze. “We’re okay,” Dex mouths. Derek puts his glove against the glass, too.

It’s still 4-3 when the clock dwindles down to under two minutes.

Derek’s line gets pulled, and the coaches bark at them to drink water and catch their breath before they’re thrown back out there. Denver is relentless; they become more sloppy as they steal the puck and try valiantly to keep it on their side.

Derek’s heart is in his throat. They’re so close now, he can taste victory. The air is sickly sweet with it.

They just have to stop Denver from scoring again.

Dex checks a Denver kid so hard he loses possession of the puck, but right as Derek grabs it, Denver’s defense brushes past him and steals it back. They’re too close to the net for Derek’s liking, and he’s desperate to stop it. Above them, the clock is under thirty seconds. Derek can’t breathe.

Denver’s defense makes a terrible shot at the goal, and Chowder deflects it with his pads. Whiskey gets the rebound but is cross-checked by the same player who tripped Derek earlier. Derek skates forward on instinct.

The clock is at fifteen. Denver moves away from the goal but skates back in where he thinks there’s an opening. Derek barely makes it in time to close the gap, and he desperately tries to push the puck away from Denver’s possession.

The Denver player feints right, and Chowder shifts accordingly, leaving the right corner of the net exposed. Vogelson takes the shot.

Derek doesn’t skate quick enough to stop it.

It’s a near impossible save. Chowder twists and stretches and the puck smacks against the top of his glove. The puck hits the ice right as the buzzer rings out and the clock hits zero.

The game ends 4-3 Samwell, and Chowder’s impossible save becomes the highlight of the game.

Derek can’t hear anything except for the rush of blood in his ears. Chowder looks down at the puck, and the look in his eyes is smug. Derek skates forward before he can even register what just happened, his body moving seemingly on instinct.

He crashes into Chowder, and the world erupts as sound finally fills his ears.

Around them on the ice, he can hear his team screaming as they flood the ice and skate towards him and Chowder. There’s hugging and crying and blurs of jerseys and Derek can’t make out who is who. The crowd cheers and screams for them. Derek can hear Ford’s exuberant shouts from the bench, and Jack and Shitty are banging on the glass from their seats.

Dex reaches them next, and he launches himself up until he’s got his arms around both Chowder and Derek.

“We fucking _ did it_!” he screams.

There’s red as far as Derek can see, in the best possible way. The air is filled with Samwell red and white confetti as it falls to the ground. His teammates flood the ice, and all around him, his friends are embracing. He watches as Bitty skates to the glass where Jack is and puts his hands against it.

He gets caught in the swarm that attacks Chowder, everyone screaming excitedly about Chowder’s last second save. He’s stuck in group hug after group hug, and he doesn’t even mind.

Dex doesn’t leave his side the entire time.

The Waffles skate around the ice with a dazed look on their face; Derek wonders what’s going through their heads. He won’t ever forget how it felt to cross that ice after their loss during his frog year. He hopes they never have to know what it feels like.

They make their way through the line, high-fiving Denver and telling them good game. The award ceremony is a blur, and Derek never once takes his eyes off of the trophy they press into Bitty’s hands. Bitty raises it into the air, and Derek screams louder than anyone else in the crowd.

When they finally start to leave the ice, Dex grabs onto Derek’s hand. He pulls Derek into a bone crushing hug, burying his face in Derek’s neck despite the fact they’re both dripping with sweat and still wearing their pads. He’s shaking in Derek’s arms.

“Holy shit,” he breathes. Derek holds him tighter.

“We did it, man,” Derek whispers.

“I’m so fucking happy right now,” Dex admits. There’s a heaviness in his statement that tells Derek that Dex means it as more than just the championship trophy in their hands. Dex nuzzles more into Derek’s neck. “I’m so goddamn happy.”

Derek presses a kiss to the top of Dex’s hair. It’s sweaty and disgusting and he’s so damn happy, he doesn’t even care. “Me too,” he reassures Dex. “God, me too.”

  
  


The locker room is full of raucous energy. Tango, Hops, and Louis are standing on a bench, singing some Swedish victory song Louis must have taught them. Bitty and Jack are clinging onto one another in the corner, and Chowder is holding the trophy in his hands, looking at it in awe. Dex and Derek slip in quietly and take their spots at their cubbies. Dex doesn’t let go of his hand the entire time.

Ford gives them a beaming smile. There’s smudged mascara around the corners of her eyes.

He’s overwhelmed suddenly, with love and pride for his team. Everyone in this room has a place in his heart. Derek knows that there is nothing that is ever going to stop him from being proud of this team and the legacy they’ve started today.

  
They fought tooth and nail to get here, and now no one will doubt them again.

“Hang on,” Tango says, bringing his song to an abrupt halt. His eyes are on Dex and Derek, wide-eyed and elated. “Are Dex and Nursey holding hands?”

Every pair of eyes in the room snaps to them. “Uh, yeah?” Dex says. He gives a little wave with the hand that’s still curled around Derek’s.

“What?” Derek asks. There’s no stopping the grin that spreads across his face; if he’s being honest, he’s not sure he’ll ever be able to stop smiling. “Am I not allowed to hold hands with my boyfriend?”

The room erupts with the same loud energy as before. When Dex buries his face in Derek’s shoulder to hide his red face, Derek can feel his grin. There’s something untouchable about this moment. He won’t forget it for as long as he lives. 

* * *

As the rest of the team is celebrating at the pool, Derek slips his hand into Dex’s again and tugs him into the elevator. He presses his lips to Dex’s with the same ease he uses when he skates out on the ice. Dex clings to his suit jacket and tugs him closer.

Once they’re in Derek’s room, Dex eases Derek down onto the mattress and settles above him, like he’s been counting down the days until he could do this. His weight is warm and familiar. Dex’s hands roam and Derek tries to memorize the way that Dex kisses, and no matter how close they get, it isn’t close enough. Dex trails his fingers along Derek’s side, and every place that he touches ignites a fire underneath Derek’s skin.

Derek didn’t know that it could _ feel _like this.

Dex surrounds him. Every breath that Derek takes is overwhelmed by Dex; everywhere he looks is illuminated by Dex’s glow. He kisses Derek’s lips and his nose and his jaw. Dex’s hands roam; he is mapping Derek’s body, charting the waters, taking notes of the things that make Derek gasp and arch and writhe.

He’s desperate to commit every moment of this to memory. He can’t forget a thing. But then Dex presses a kiss to the underside of his jaw, then his neck, then his collarbone, and Derek feels a different tug of desperation growing in his gut. He has his hands all over Dex, but it isn’t enough. They get lost in it, lost in learning one another’s bodies, and soon memories start to bleed together. Dex unbuttons Derek’s shirt with gentle fingers, Derek traces the divet of Dex’s collarbone, Dex trails featherlight kisses down Derek’s abdomen. Derek gets lost in the sensation of it all and forgets how much he wants to remember this.

Dex is warm and he is gentle. He has deft fingers and a clever mouth, and all Derek can do is grip the bed sheets as Dex takes him apart at a maddening pace. His mouth is pink and swollen when he kisses Derek again, and Derek pulls him closer and closer.

It’s not too long after Derek gets a hand around him that Dex comes. His skin is pink and he hides his face, embarrassed, in the crook of Derek’s neck, and Derek wonders if it’s too early to be this undeniably fond of someone. He presses a kiss to the top of Dex’s forehead, shiny with sweat and everything, and revels in the way that it convinces Dex to cuddle closer to him. Gravity is not keeping him on the ground, he thinks. He is certain he would float away if it weren’t for the reassuring weight of Dex’s arm across his chest and Dex’s legs twined with his.

Dex falls asleep first, after they’ve cleaned up and put on pajamas and crawled into bed. Derek can’t take his eyes off of him. Dex has never claimed to be anything other than a thrown punch and a biting word, but underneath this exterior, Dex is as gentle and steady as a stream. Derek wonders what it is that makes Dex so scared to show this side of himself.

He wonders, perhaps too soon, what exactly he did to prove to Dex that he was worthy of seeing this side.

In the morning, they’ll have more to deal with than they ever could have bargained for when they began this thing. Derek is certain Chowder will find them like this, even despite his agreeance to give them the room for the night and share with Tango in Dex’s place. The team will chirp them and fine them, and Dex will blush red and bite out a remark, but Derek will hold his hand anyway. In the morning, they’ll probably talk about Derek’s statement in the locker room, his reference to Dex as his boyfriend and what it means for them going forward. There will be plenty for them to deal with in the morning.

But for now they are champions, and they are exploring a relationship neither of them dared to test before and they are both happy. Derek shifts closer to Dex and breathes in deeply and decides that for tonight, happy is good enough.

_ end of april _

Settling back into reality after a game like that is harder than Derek expected.

Hockey ends. Ford throws herself into planning the banquet with the coaches and Derek finds her scribbling notes on a tiny notepad more often than not. Bitty washes and folds the seniors’ jerseys and everyone in the Haus pretends they don’t see as his hand brushes across the number fifteen with reverence. The team clears out their stalls at Faber. Derek catches Bitty and Ford whispering about when they want to have the seniors kiss the ice.

Without hockey to focus on, finals stress settles in. Derek’s phone vibrates more than once with texts from Ransom reminding him to take a break. It’s nothing short of a miracle when Bitty stumbles down the stairs one morning with bleary eyes and an ink splotch on his cheek from where he fell asleep at his desk, and announces that his thesis is done and ready to submit. Dex makes the Haus celebratory waffles in Bitty’s honor.

Dex becomes the one constant of Derek’s day. More often than not they wake up together, after the nights that they both manage to squeeze into one of their twin beds. There are morning kisses and walks to class together and texts that gain frequency the longer the day goes. Most of their time after classes is spent sat at the kitchen table, pouring over notes and quizzing one another as they prepare for the semester to end.

Sometimes they study in Derek’s room. Those times are rare, however, since they both know there’s a high likelihood that studying will be tossed aside in favor of making out on Derek’s bed.

Derek is still trying to find the courage to ask Dex to move back up.

The thought came to him on a rather unextraordinary day, with Dex sitting on his old bed with his laptop on his thighs. He had just thrown a pencil at Derek’s head. Derek’s thoughts became consumed with wanting Dex in this space constantly. He thinks Dex might agree, if he asked the right way. He worries, though, that it will seem like they’re moving too fast.

But—their junior year is coming to an end. Bitty is leaving. They’re national champions, and Derek is dating William Poindexter. The world hasn’t stopped turning yet. Derek supposes there are scarier things in the world than moving too fast.

He’s still in his own thoughts, staring idly at a blank word document, when he hears the front door open and close soundly. Derek knows it’s Dex without even having to check. Dex toes off his shoes at the door, drops his backpack on the kitchen table, and the floor creaks as he makes his way into the living room.

“It’s date night,” Dex announces as he plops down on the couch next to Derek. There’s no one else here for the time being, which gives Dex the courage to press a lingering kiss to Derek’s cheekbone. “We haven’t gone on a date in forever.”

“We went on a date on Sunday,” Derek reminds him. He doesn’t look up from his laptop, but there’s no pretending that he isn’t smiling at Dex’s antics. “Plus we’ve spent every day together since even before the championship. _ And _ we watched a movie last night.”

He can practically hear Dex’s eyeroll. “Chowder was there, that doesn’t count for date night. And Sunday was only, like, our fourth date technically, because we’ve been spending too much time studying. It’s time for another one. It’s date night.”

Derek hums. “Did you just say we’re spending too much time studying? Usually by this time in the year you’re freaking out about finals. You must just be so bored, going two whole weeks without hockey. ”

“You say that like all I do is say grumpy things to you and wait around moping for the next time I get to put on my skates,” Dex mutters.

“Add in a little bit of time spent chirping me and a lot of time spent wishing you were kissing me and I think we’ve covered how you spend pretty much all of your days, Dexy.”

Dex huffs. “I hate you.”

Finally, Derek looks up. There’s a scowl on Dex’s face that Derek knows just how to make disappear. He leans forward and kisses Dex square on the lips. “I really, truly don’t believe you do,” he tells Dex. He can practically feel the happiness radiating off of him; it’s overwhelming. “Okay, it’s date night. What are we doing?”

“It’s your turn to plan it,” Dex says. He sinks back into the cushions and wraps his arms around Derek’s waist. Derek jolts when Dex’s hands brush a ticklish spot on his side, and his laptop almost goes toppling to the ground. “Jesus, Nurse, could you be any more clumsy?”

Derek closes his laptop with a loud sound and shoves it to the side before sitting back and snuggling closer in Dex’s arms. “You act bothered, but I know you secretly think it’s charming.”

“It’s not a secret that you’re a big ol’ clutz.”

“Ouch, hashtag burn,” Derek hums. “What’s this about it being my turn to plan?”

“It _ is _ your turn to plan.”

Derek tugs on the undone sleeve of Dex’s flannel. “I planned the last date, remember? Took you to that fancy new ice cream place and make you try earl grey tea ice cream and annoyed you until you admitted you liked it.”

Dex lets out a huffy laugh that hits Derek’s forehead. He’s quiet for another moment before he says, “I just would really appreciate it if you planned this one. And I need to get out of the Haus tonight. If that’s okay.”

Derek is pretty sure this is the first time Dex has ever asked him for anything like this before.

“Chyeah, baby, of course,” he agrees. He turns until he catches Dex’s gaze. “Hey, are you good?”

Whatever it is that’s bothering Dex disappears from his expression pretty quickly. It’s replaced by a timid smile, one of Derek’s new favorites. It doesn’t ease Derek’s worries about what’s happening in Dex’s head, but it is enough to convince him to let it go for now.

“It’s date night,” Dex says, like it’s the solution to all of his problems. There’s a happy sort of smile on his face that makes Derek almost believe it. “I’m really good.”

“We could go to that new sushi place that opened right next to the Stop n’ Shop,” Nursey suggests. “Or, I’m pretty sure they’re doing open mic night at Annie’s tonight. We could go witness that trainwreck.”

Dex hums. “You lookin’ for an excuse to serenade me?”

“Pssh, in your dreams, Poindexter. You’re the one who has to sing to me, remember?”

Dex leans forward and kisses him. It’s a gentle little thing that has no reason to curl Derek’s toes, but it does anyway. There’s a soft look on his face that Derek hopes to see for a long time. Derek has half a mind to just drag Dex upstairs and take advantage of an empty Haus.

He knows now would be the perfect time to ask. They’re alone and Dex is looking at him like there’s no place he’d rather be, and Derek could just outright tell him, _ Dex, I want you to move back into the room. _

Derek is terrified that he doesn’t know what Dex’s answer would be.

Right as he opens his mouth to ask, Dex reaches up and brushes his thumb along Derek’s cheekbone. The words die in his throat. “Sorry,” Dex murmurs. His cheeks go pink when he realizes what he’s done. “You had an eyelash.”

“You literally never have to apologize to me for that, Dexy,” Derek breathes. He forgets what he was going to say. He forgets what they were talking about—it doesn’t matter now, anyway, because the only thing that matters is that Derek feels like he has to kiss Dex right now or he’s going to die.

Dex slides a hand under Derek’s shirt. Derek has kissed him so much recently, he feels like he should be familiar with the way Dex’s mouth moves against his, but he has yet to get used to it. He puts his own hand on Dex’s jaw to angle to kiss better, and has to bite back a victorious grin when Dex groans slightly at the contact.

They’re still there on the couch when Chowder finds them, though their positions are decidedly more compromising, with Derek hovering over Dex’s body as he presses him into the cushions. Chowder sighs loudly.

“You guys are the _ worst_,” he whines.

“It’s better than us fighting,” Derek reminds him. Dex laughs and drags Derek back down by the collar for another kiss.

* * *

The thing is, Derek has had plenty of opportunities to ask.

He just can’t get the words out.

It starts to grate on him, this incessant want to ask Dex to move back up to their room, and with it, the fear of being rejected. He doesn’t think Dex will call it off between them if he asks, and he is almost certain that Dex is on the same page in terms of enjoying what they’re doing. Going on dates, dating exclusively, whatever it is.

Maybe that’s the root of the problem. Derek doesn’t like that they still haven’t officially labeled this.

His nerves are practically fried when he gets home from his second-to-last poetry lecture and Bitty presses an unopened letter into his hands.

“Another prospect camp letter?” he asks incredulously. “God, do you think they’ve got our address memorized by now? Between C, Dex, and Whiskey, they must of sent a hundred.”

Bitty smirks. “This one is a pretty special invite, Nursey.”

“Yeah, yeah, they’re all special,” Derek mutters. “Dex downstairs?”

“Waiting for you,” Bitty tells him with a sigh. “Derek, read that letter!”

Dex is sitting on his bed when Derek makes his way into the basement. He’s got his textbooks and laptop set up, but instead of studying, Dex is laying back on his pillows, playing a game on his phone. Derek can hear the small victory noises each time he completes another level.

“Hey, baby,” Derek says. He kneels on Dex’s bed and leans over to give him a quick kiss. Dex hums in response. “Another prospect camp invite came in the mail for you today.”

Dex sits up. “Another?” he asks. Derek wonders if Dex will ever stop being surprised that people want him to keep playing hockey. Derek pulls the letter out of where he’d stuffed it in between notebook pages on his way into the Haus. He doesn’t even look at it as he hands it to Dex.

“I’m telling you, baby, these teams know you’re a catch. You and C, you’re gonna take it all the way to the NHL,” Derek muses. “Hah! Then I’ll have myself a hot, professional hockey playing boy—”

“Babe, this one is for you,” Dex interrupts. He waves the unopened letter in Derek’s face. “It’s your name on the envelope. Did you even look at it before you grabbed it?”

Derek looks up in surprise. “Bitty just handed to me and said it was for a prospect camp,” Derek says, quietly. “I didn’t think he meant it was for me.”

There’s a look on Dex’s face that is positively smug. “What was that you were saying about having a hot, professional hockey playing boyfriend? Pretty sure that’s gonna be my line now, sweetheart.”

If Derek is being honest, _ that _ sends a bigger thrill down his spine than the prospect of playing professional hockey. “Boyfriend?” he asks. He can’t help himself. He doesn’t even care if it comes off as childish.

Dex rolls his eyes. “Oh, are we not labeling this? You did call me your boyfriend in front of our entire team after a big win. Zimmermann style, and all that. I thought that was a pretty good sign that there was a name for this.”

“Just ‘cause I say it doesn’t mean you’re feeling it.”

The words slip out before he means to let them go. In half a second, Derek has split his chest open and exposed his beating heart for Dex to see. His throat goes dry.

Dex sits up. “Nursey,” he says. “Are you really worried about that?”

“Uh, have you met me? I’m worried about everything. It’s the anxiety.”

“Jesus Christ, _ Derek_,” Dex snaps. He covers his face with his hands when he goes beat red. “Be serious for a second, please? You gotta be honest with me, have I been making you feel like I’m not overwhelmingly into this?”

Derek sits back. “You sure you’re ready to get into this?”

The look that Dex gives him is pure panic. “There’s something to _ get into_?” he asks frantically.

“God, no, not like _ that_,” Derek groans. He reaches forward and takes both of Dex’s hands in his own. “Dex. Take a deep breath for me. This isn’t a bad convo. Geez, dude, this would be a hella great convo if I could just fucking say—”

“Say what?” Dex asks. His voice is small.

Derek’s courage gets caught in his throat.

“Derek,” Dex prods.

“Fuck off for a second, I gotta be brave,” Derek huffs. “You just gotta… just give me a second.”

Dex runs his thumb along Derek’s knuckles. It’s the right kind of quiet and steady reassurance that Derek needs to find the words he’s been trying to say for longer than he cares to admit.

“This is new territory for me, okay?” he admits. His gaze drops down to his hands. “I haven’t been in a lot of relationships, and I’ve never been in a relationship that feels like this. I mean god, Dex, our freshman year I could barely stand to be in the same room as you, and now I _ miss _ you whenever we aren’t hanging out. It’s kinda intense. Like, it’s awesome, do not get me wrong, but it’s a lot. I want to spend all my time with you. Like… literally _ all _of my time.”

He can hear the sharp breath that Dex draws in. When he finally looks up, there’s a slight smile on his face. Derek wonders if he’s got a similar look of wonderment on his own face.

“I want you to move back up to the room,” Derek admits. “That’s what’s been going on. I’ve been trying to figure out how to ask you forever because I like spending time with you and I don’t want to waste time next year.”

“Nursey,” Dex breathes, a small smile on his face.

But Derek is on a roll now, and he isn’t sure he can stop. “I know this probably feels like, I don’t know, like it’s moving too fast. Like, it’s been what, less than a month? And I’m all, oh my God, Poindexter, please move in with me. But god, Dex, sometimes I look at you, and I think that you’re feeling the same things that I am and I just—” He stops abruptly. The next part feels heavy to say. “I don’t want to waste our last year.”

Dex leans forward and kisses Derek, sure and steady. Derek’s heart pounds in his chest, and he sucks in a sharp breath when Dex grabs a fistful or Derek’s shirt to keep him close.

Sometimes he feels so fucking lucky he’s sure he’s going to burst.

“You gotta learn to shut the hell up every now and then,” Dex murmurs against his lips.

“Fucking excuse me?” Derek asks, but laughter bubbles out of him and he’s hopeless at stopping it. Dex chases his laughs with kisses.

“You’re so dumb,” Dex says breathlessly. “We ever gonna learn how to actually communicate with one another?”

Derek tangles his fingers in Dex’s hair. He can’t get close enough to Dex, never feels like he’s got enough of him. “I goddamn hope so. I’m kinda attached to you, in case you weren’t paying attention when I was bearing my soul.”

There’s a long pause where Dex rests his forehead against Derek’s and takes a few deep breaths. Derek doesn’t mind the wait. He doesn’t think he’ll ever mind when it comes to Dex.

“It does feel a little fast,” Dex admits. Derek watches as his eyes flutter closed. “But not because… I mean, hell, Nursey, I literally ran screaming from the room the first time. Aren’t you scared it could happen again?”

Derek shakes his head. “Not really,” he says truthfully. “I mean, yeah, we run the risk of fighting like we used to before, but that’s a risk in any relationship. And, idk dude, but I think we’ve both grown up a lot since the beginning of the year.”

Dex lets out a breathy laugh. “Yeah,” he agrees. His mouth curls into a gentle smile. Derek wants to press his thumb to the corner of Dex’s mouth. “That’s definitely true. Fall semester Dex would lose his shit if he knew he’d be here by the end of the year.”

“Does that mean you’ll do it?”

Dex’s fingers tighten around Derek’s shirt. Derek hadn’t even realized he was still holding on. “Is it okay if I say I’ll think about it?”

Derek cracks a grin. “Is it cheating if I tell you I’ll buy us a queen bed for up there?”

“Oh, well why didn’t you lead with that?”

Derek doesn’t try to stop his laughter. He shifts and presses a kiss to Dex’s forehead. “For real, though,” he murmurs. “Take your time. I mean, you’ll have to give an answer before school starts back up, but take your time.”

Dex jolts. “Holy shit. _ Nursey_. It’s almost summer break.”

“Chyeah, babe, don’t tell me you didn’t notice that finals start next week.”

“Derek,” Dex says impatiently. There’s an urgent look in Dex’s eyes that Derek doesn’t understand. “It’s summer. We’re going to have to go home. Our _ separate _homes.”

Ice dumps down Derek’s back. It’s an insecurity he had buried deep beneath the layers of concern about asking Dex to move back in. He’s been focused on keeping Dex’s head above water as he struggles with the fact that Bitty is leaving. The realization that Derek has been focusing on Dex feeling far away during the next school year instead of focusing on how far apart they’ll be in just a few weeks hits him like a ton of bricks.

“We should probs talk about that too, huh?” Derek asks weakly.

Dex lets go of his shirt and drops his hands on top of Derek’s, twining their fingers together. “Hey,” he says firmly. “Wherever you’re going in your head, don’t go there yet. Stay here with me. We can talk about this. It won’t kill me.”

Derek’s laugh is half-assed.

“_Baby_,” Dex sighs. “What are you worried about?”

Derek lets out a slow breath. There are some parts of him that will always be terrifying to share. “I’m sitting here losing my shit because I’m worried we won’t be close enough next semester but my stupid ass didn’t realize that I’m about to go three months without seeing your stupid ass.”

Dex cups Derek’s cheek. His touch is reassuring and grounding. “Will you tell me why you’re so worked up about this?” Dex asks softly. He strokes a thumb along Derek’s cheekbone when he tenses. “I just want to understand.”

“Yeah,” Derek breathes. “It’s just like… we’ve been doing this for, what, almost a month? It’s only been a month and now we’re about to go three without seeing each other so it freaks me out, you know?”

“So let’s see each other,” Dex whispers. “We could probably make it work, Nurse. I mean, I already talked to my uncle. I’m not working on the boat this summer because of camps. I’ll have more time off. You could come to Maine or, or… I could find a way to come to you. It doesn’t have to be three whole months, baby.”

Derek lets out a laugh that comes out half-hysterical. “What universe have we entered where you’re offering viable solutions when we are communicating? You feeling feverish?”

“Shut up,” Dex says lightly. “I’ve a mature adult now. You made a mature adult out of me.”

Derek covers Dex’s hand with his own. “It was all you, sweetheart,” Derek reassures him. “Are you serious, though? You wanna find ways to hang out over this summer?”

Dex gives him a look that is equal parts fond and exasperated. Derek likes him _ so much _. “Where’s that letter you got in the mail today?” he asks.

“What?” Derek asks. It’s such a sharp conversation change, it takes a second for his mind to process the words. Dex drops his hand and Derek turns to grab the letter from the corner of the bed. “Uh, why?”

“I’m opening it,” Dex announces. Derek doesn’t say anything as Dex tears into the envelope and pulls the letter out. He skims it quickly; there’s the threat of a grin in the corners of his expression. “This invite is for one of the same camps I got invited to.”

Derek blinks. “For real?”

“_Yes_, for real. So look, we can plan something right now. How do you feel about the Leafs’ prospect camp?”

His heart is going to burst right out of his chest. “Ugh, Canada?” he laughs. He tries to say it teasingly, but he’s so damn happy that there’s no way it comes out that way. “I guess I could make it work, if it meant I could spend time with your stupid ass.”

Dex leans forward. He gets close enough that his lips barely brush against Derek’s when he talks. “You _ like _my stupid ass,” he reminds Derek. As if Derek could ever forget.

“Fine, you caught me, I’ll go to Canada for your stupid ass,” Derek concedes. “But don’t tell anyone I like you. I have a reputation.”

Dex’s laugh is loud and bright and beautiful. “No you fucking don’t,” he says in between laughs, and then he kisses Derek and it’s the only thing that matters. What comes next is terrifying, Derek doesn’t think they’ll ever be a time where he isn’t terrified by what the future holds, but Dex is reassuring and steady and Derek has never felt more secure in his life.

He hopes Dex feels it too.

“Look at us, having a real conversation about the future and shit,” Derek says, when he finally convinces himself to pull away. Dex rolls his eyes but there’s no denying the huge grin on his face. “We’re seeing each other this summer. You’re moving back up to the room next year. We’ve officially decided we can call each other boyfriends and not feel weird about it.”

“You’re such a dork,” Dex says seriously. “You’re the dorkiest guy I know and I’m so into you that my heart is fucking bursting with it.”

Derek kisses him again. There’s nothing else he can really do, if he’s being honest. Kissing him is enough.

  
  
  


_ beginning of may _

Finals crawl by.

Derek passes all of his classes. He opens his last test score and nearly cries with relief when he sees the high percentage. Two days later, he holds Dex’s hand when he does the same thing. They lean on each other for a lot of things, as the school year wraps up.

The Haus feels somber as Bitty starts to pack up his things.

The kitchen is bare. It looks wrong without Bitty’s curtains adorning the window, without his pie tins cluttering the counters, without his mama’s hand towels hanging on the oven. Derek sits in an empty kitchen and upstairs, he can hear Bitty moving around and talking on the phone. Probably to Jack.

Dex holds his hand through that, too.

There isn’t a dry eye when Coach Hall announces captain for the next year at the banquet. Bitty stands and claps Derek and Chowder on the back and tells them he has total faith in them. They celebrate with hugs and cookies shaped like hockey sticks and champagne that Tango sneaks in in a flask. The trophy gleams a little bit brighter in the corner whenever Derek looks at it.

Three days before graduation, Derek walks past Tango and Bully and catches the tail end of a conversation about moving in. He stops in his tracks. “Wait, Riv, you’re moving into the Haus?”

“Yessir,” Bully says easily.

“But Ollie and Wicks gave Tango and Whiskey their dibs,” Derek says slowly. “Bitty gave his to Ford. Who…”

Tango blows a large bubble with his gum and Derek startles when it pops. “Dex gave him the basement bungalow,” he says. “Isn’t he moving back into your room? Weren’t you aware of that? Aren’t you guys, like, dating?”

Something beautiful grows in Derek’s chest. “Dex gave you the bungalow?” he repeats.

“Yeah, he gave me his dibs the day after the banquet,” Bully says. “Do you think he’d be willing to help you redecorate?”

“He gave you the bungalow,” Derek repeats. The grin on his face must be halfway manic. “He’s moving back in with me and I told him he could keep the bungalow to fall back on but he gave you dibs.”

Bully smiles. “He’s a pretty cool dude,” he says.

Derek is so happy he could bounce off the walls. “You guys are gonna have _ so _many reasons to fine us next year.”

  
  
  


Graduation comes before Derek or Dex finish packing up their last boxes. Derek finds him in their room with his arms deep in a Derek’s drawer, folding his t-shirts. He holds Dex’s hands as they shake and ties his tie for him when Dex can’t do it himself.

“You okay, Poindexter?” he asks quietly.

“How are we supposed to do this without Bitty?” Dex whispers. “We’re gonna watch him walk across that stage and we’re going to hug him goodbye and in three months, we’re gonna come back to a Haus where there’s no yellow curtains in the kitchen and no clean doormat at the front door, and no Beyoncé playing in the bathrooms at five in the morning. There’s gonna be new kids on this team who are gonna rely on us the way Bitty did and how are we supposed to do it without him here?”

Derek straightens his collar and then tilts Dex’s chin up gently. “He loves you,” Derek promises. Dex lets out a choked breath. “He does, baby, he loves us all but he loves you and he’s not gonna stop just because he doesn’t live here anymore. And we’re gonna figure this out next year. And we’ll have each other.”

“Yeah,” Dex agrees. He leans forward and presses his forehead against Derek’s. “We’ll have each other.”

They walk to graduation together. Dex clings to Derek’s hand, and they both cry shamelessly when Bitty’s name is called and he walks across the stage. Chowder joins them in wolf-whistling for Ollie and again for Wicks. Derek can see Jack cheering and yelling too, a few rows away. For once, he doesn’t look embarrassed by how much noise the hockey team is making. Derek’s not sure there’s room for anything else but pride in his expression.

Bitty runs straight into Jack’s arms the second they’re free. His graduation cap is askew, but it doesn’t matter anyway. Jack kisses him so hard it falls to the ground.

Dex leans into Derek’s side. “They’re so happy,” he sighs. “It’s good. It sucks that he’s leaving, but he’s so _ happy_. It makes it easier. Knowing that he’s going somewhere he’ll be loved.”

_ I love you, _Derek thinks, so suddenly that he’s overwhelmed with it. He loves Dex so much he can feel it in his bone marrow.

The world doesn’t stop turning. Time doesn’t freeze. He’s in love with William Poindexter and the sun is still shining and people are still laughing and it is not the realization he always thought it would be. He loves Dex, and somewhere inside of him he knows he was always destined to end up here. He was a goner the second Dex kissed him in his car like it was something he’d done a thousand times.

It’s been one month. It is, perhaps, too soon to say it out loud, but Derek knows he won’t stop thinking it. He won’t stop feeling it. Years could pass and he will still feel as hopelessly gone on Dex as he does right now.

“Hey,” Dex murmurs. Derek pulls himself out of his thoughts and catches Dex’s gaze. “You still with me?”

_ I will always be with you_.

“Yeah,” Derek says, instead of the thousands of thoughts racing through his head. There will be another time and another place to tell him. Derek’s hand finds Dex’s like it’s the easiest thing he’s ever done. “You got me.”

They hug Bitty and Ollie and Wicks and they take so many pictures that Derek’s cheeks start to hurt from smiling. He laughs harder than he has in weeks. Derek loses track of how many old teammates come up and congratulate him and Dex for figuring their stuff out. Derek finds it harder and harder to look away from Dex as the day continues on.

Ransom finds him, inevitably, as Derek is watching Dex shake Richard Bittle’s hand. “You can see it, you know,” Ransom tells him. “The happiness you’re feeling. It’s radiating off of you. If Holster sees, he’s going to fine you.”

“Let him,” Derek says easily. “I’m so damn happy.”

Ransom laughs. “We’re a pair of dumbasses, you know, falling in love with a couple of white boys, eh?”

Derek cracks a grin. “Don’t call me a dumbass, this took me completely by surprise. You fell in love with Holtzy the second you saw him and pined after him for four years. That ain’t no one’s fault but your own, bud.”

“So rude to me.”

“You don’t live at the Haus anymore, I rarely even get to chirp you.”

Ransom lets out a startled but bright laugh. He shoves at Derek’s arm and then tries to jump on his back, taking advantage of the fact that Derek is still staring at Dex. Derek shrieks in surprise and nearly throws them both to the ground. “Show some fucking respect to your elders!” he yells in Derek’s ear.

“Get the fuck off of me!” Derek shouts through his laughs. His attempts to shake Ransom off are futile.

“But I got your back, bro!”

“_I hate you_!”

“Jesus, get a room,” calls out Dex, and Derek can’t help but stop and look at him. He wears a soft and happy grin that Derek wants to see forever.

Ransom slides off of Derek’s back. The bastard has the nerve to act like he hadn’t been clinging on mere seconds ago. “Nah, I won’t steal your man, Dex. That’d just be rude.”

“No, you can have him,” Dex insists. Ransom barks out a laugh and Derek yells in indignation.

“Baby, no,” Derek whines, then he launches himself at Dex and they both tumble to the ground. Dex grunts as they fall. His arms twine around Derek’s waist anyway, and he’s laughing by the time he hits the grass. Derek presses a sloppy kiss to Dex’s face. “Don’t trade me away.”

“God, you make it so easy to want to,” Dex groans. “Your elbow is in my lung.”

“Do y’all think it’s possible to act respectable at just _ one _event?”

Derek and Dex look up at Bitty. He raises an unimpressed eyebrow. “Sorry, Bitty,” they say sheepishly.

Bitty sighs. “Get up off the grass and dust yourselves off. I’ve got a plane to catch and I ain’t hugging boys who go around wrestling on grass in their suits.”

“You’re leaving?” Derek asks sharply, sitting up. “But you just barely graduated.”

Dex pushes at Derek’s shoulder and they both scramble to their feet. It’s a bittersweet moment; Derek’s stomach is in his throat. “You can’t go yet,” Dex says quickly. “There’s still so much I have to—you can’t.”

Bitty’s expression softens. “The Falcs have a game tonight,” he reminds them gently. “He scratched but he still wants to be there for them. It’s important to him.”

They hold Bitty too tight as he says goodbye. It goes unsaid, but Derek knows both he and Dex are trying to prove to Bitty that he’ll always be important to them. These are the kinds of friendships that will last forever. Derek has no doubt in his mind.

Bitty’s eyes are filled with tears when he pulls away. He fans at his face and gasps out, “Lord, you boys act like you won’t be seeing me soon! You know Jack’s gonna fly y’all out again if they make it to the last round.”

“Bite your tongue,” Derek says on instinct. “Don’t you jinx it.”

“Oh, you hush. I honestly half-expect you both to show up on our doorstep a few weeks from now regardless of what’s happening with the Falconers.”

Dex laughs wetly. “Thanks for everything, Bitty. I wouldn’t be here today without you.”

Derek’s heart clenches. Bitty reaches forward and squeezes Dex’s hand tightly. “You are such a wonderful, wonderful man, Will. What a privilege it has been to watch you grow into yourself. You best take care of those new boys, you hear? And don’t let that Haus fall to shambles.”

“On my life,” Dex swears. Bitty laughs.

When Bitty turns to him, Derek realizes suddenly that he isn’t ready for this at all. Bitty takes his hand, too. “It has been an honor being your captain and your teammate, Derek Nurse. Don’t you ever doubt your hockey playing again.”

Derek chokes out a laugh. “I won’t,” he promises.

Bitty gives them both one last sad smile.

“Good lord, I can’t spend this much time saying goodbye to everyone!” Bitty exclaims. He drops both of their hands and reaches up to rub a finger under his eyes. “Y’all are gonna make me red and puffy for the whole drive home. I gotta go tell everyone else, but I love y’all. Be your best. I’ll see you both soon.”

Dex holds onto Derek’s hand like it’s his lifeline as they watch Bitty walk away.

Whatever comes next, Derek knows they’re doing it together.

* * *

They finalize a plan. Derek buys a plane ticket to Maine for the end of June, and Dex kisses him so long that Derek forgets all about it. Dex schedules three prospect camps, Derek schedules two. He’ll spend some of his summer interning at his mom’s publishing house and some of it with Dex and some of it with the team, whenever they can find the time.

They sit on their bed for hours. Derek doesn’t think the thrill of calling it _ their bed _will ever wear off. They curl around one another and Dex talks about all the places he wants to show Derek during his week in Maine. More than once, Derek almost tells Dex that he loves him.

He has never been a fan of summer. He likes the structure of the school year and likes the busyness of hockey season and he likes being surrounded by loud, annoying, invasive people who love him. He spends his summer breaks counting down the days until he can fly back out to Samwell.

But he isn’t as upset for this one. This summer brings a chance to play hockey in the big leagues. It brings a housewarming party at Jack and Bitty’s apartment since they can both officially call it theirs now. It brings a week in Maine, and a week in New York with Dex by his side. Three months is still a long time, but he has more to look forward to than he could have even imagined possible.

“We won’t see each other for most of July,” Dex muses. “Between all our camps and stuff. What are you gonna do without me to bother?”

“Waste away and spend my days writing longing love letters and never sending them,” Derek says mournfully. Dex jams a finger into his side roughly and Derek yelps. “What, you think I won’t write you a love letter?”

“No, I know you would, and that’s what scares me.”

“Maybe you should write me one. Change things up,” Derek snorts. He curls his hand against Dex’s chest and snuggles closer.

Dex hums. “Maybe I will.”

“What. For real?”

Derek sits up. There’s not a trace of sarcasm in Dex’s expression.

“Yeah, I can give it a try. For you, I guess,” Dex says with a shrug, so nonchalantly Derek wonders if he’s even aware he just gave Derek a heart attack.

“Baby, I mean this as seriously as one can mean something: I will die if you do that.”

Dex props himself up on his elbows. “Well, maybe I won’t then. I am kind of attached to you, it would be a shame to lose such a cute boyfriend.”

“Bastard!” Derek laughs. He shoves at Dex’s chest and curls back into him. “If you don’t write me a letter, I will break up with you and I’ll only feel kind of sad about it. You promised me a letter, I want a letter.”

Dex snorts and presses a kiss to Derek’s forehead. “Deal, you can break up with me if I don’t send you a letter. I’m sure I’ll have plenty of time in between drills and scrimmages.”

“I hate you,” Derek sighs.

“No, you don’t,” Dex argues.

Derek wonders if Dex knows just how true that statement is.

* * *

Dex tapes up his last box and wipes a layer of sweat off his forehead, and Derek sits and watches from the bed. His brother is coming down today with the truck to take Dex back to Maine, where he’ll have two days at home before being flown off to Seattle for his first camp.

Derek isn’t going to be the last to leave the Haus this summer. He’s taking his car and driving home tomorrow, but he knows the Haus will fill empty anyway tonight.

“Think that’s everything,” Dex mutters. He collapses on the bed next to Derek and leans against the wall. “I hate moving. I hate boxes. I hate stairs and boxes. Hockey is over, I should not still be doing workouts this intense.”

“They’re gonna eat you alive at camp, Dexy.”

Dex lets out a small chuckle. “Maybe,” he agrees.

They sit there for god knows how long. Derek holds Dex’s hand. It’s too warm for them to do anything but, even in the shorts and tank tops Dex insisted they wear for move out day. It feels too soon when Dex sits up suddenly at looks out the window.

“That’s the truck,” he says. “God, I forgot what it sounded like. You can hear that thing for miles. My brother is almost here.”

Derek closes his eyes and tries to remind himself that this isn’t an ending.

He helps Dex take the last of his boxes down the stairs. Tango gives them a small wave from his spot on the couch. Dex turns him down when he asks if they need help.

They walk out onto the porch at the same time Dex’s brother pulls up.

Derek gropes blindly for Dex’s hand and only feels like he can breathe again when Dex twines their fingers together. It’s easier to make it through this when he has the steady weight of Dex’s hand in his. It doesn’t feel as terrifying.

“Hey, man,” Dex calls as his brother clambers out of the truck. It’s this old beat-up thing that looks like it’s seen better days. Derek is sure that Dex has a million stories of that truck. “You find the highway okay or are you still afraid of big roads?”

“Fuck you,” Owen bites out. When he reaches the porch, he throws an arm around Dex’s shoulder and pulls him down to noogie him. Dex has at least three inches on his brother, but it clearly doesn’t matter. “Came all the way out here to rescue your stupid ass and you’re already bitching? Kids never change.”

Dex jabs an elbow into his brother’s stomach. “O, this is Derek. Defense, you’ve seen him play.”

Owen drops his arm and turns to face Derek. He looks a lot like Will except with brown hair and smaller ears. He offers a hand to Derek and gives him a knowing grin. “So you’re this guy that Will can’t shut up about ever.”

“_Owen_,” Dex sighs. “I regret telling you anything.”

“Willy, you’ll always spill your guts to me, I’m your older brother and you literally cannot help yourself. Anyway, he’s cute, so nice going there.”

“Owen!”

Derek grins. “You made him all red, I love when he goes all red.”

Owen groans and covers his eyes. “Dude, we literally just met, TMI and also ew, that’s my little brother.”

“Oh my god, _ I hate you_,” Dex whines. “Can we please just put fucking boxes in the truck? Good hell, you both are going to kill me.”

Derek presses a kiss to his forehead when Owen isn’t looking.

They get all of the boxes in the truck in record time. There isn’t a lot of stuff; mostly summer clothes and hockey stuff that Dex will need for camps and summer skates. Everything else, he’s leaving in their room. Dex and Derek stand underneath the shade of the tree while Owen ties everything down.

“I’m gonna miss you,” Dex admits. “So much I don’t know if I’m even gonna be able to breathe. How stupid is that?”

_ I love you so, so much_, Derek thinks wildly.

“Me, too,” he says. “God, me too, Dex.”

Dex pulls him into a hug. His arms are tight and sure around Derek. There’s a chance neither of them ever let go, that neither of them finish their goodbyes and that they’ll stay here wrapped up in each other for so long that snow will fall on them.

It’s intense, this longing Derek feels for the boy who hasn’t even left him yet. His heart has a person it beats for now. They’ll see each other soon, in less than a month, but it doesn’t feel soon enough. Derek clings a little bit tighter.

“I’m so happy,” he whispers in Dex’s ear. “You make me so goddamn happy. I never expected, god, I never _ hoped _… I didn’t know it could be like this. But I’m so happy, Dex.”

“You make me so fucking happy,” Dex says back fiercely. “Nursey, I…”

He doesn’t finish it. Derek doesn’t need him to; he knows what Dex means anyway. He presses a kiss to Dex’s neck and tucks his face there. “I know,” he murmurs. “I know what you mean.”

They must stand there for too long. Owen doesn’t come and tell them that it’s time for Dex to go. If anyone from inside were to look out right now, they’d be fined for all their money, but Derek doesn’t care. The world feels right when he’s holding Dex like this, and he won’t be able to do it again for weeks.

“Can I kiss you?” Dex asks, like it’s not his brother who is standing a few yards away.

Derek kisses him instead of answering.

As far as kisses go, it isn’t their best or even their most romantic. It’s messy and wet and they’re both kind of desperate. If it weren’t Dex and if Derek weren’t in love with him, he might even classify it as a bad kiss. But he does love Dex; he loves Dex as sure as the sun rises each morning, and this kiss means everything to him.

_ I love you_, Derek thinks desperately. He hopes that Dex can feel it.

Dex kisses his mouth and his forehead and his cheek one more time before he pulls away. His eyes are red but there are no tears on his cheeks. He’s got a long drive ahead of him, and a lot to do before he can leave for his camp.

“You have to go,” Derek says with a laugh. There’s no hiding the fact that he’s crying. Dex wipes the tears from his eyes and cradles Derek’s face in his hands. “You still have to unload all those boxes when you get home and that’s after a long drive.”  
  


Dex groans. “You sure you don’t want to come just to help me unpack boxes?”

“Is that the only reason?” Derek chirps.

“You know it isn’t.”

Derek pushes gently at Dex’s shoulders. “You’ve got to go,” he reminds him. “FaceTime me as soon as you are settled in.”

Dex takes a step back. Derek tries to remind himself that the sad look on Dex’s face isn’t the worst thing he’s ever seen. His beating heart is in Dex’s hand, slowly moving away from him. “I’ll probably FaceTime you from the road,” Dex admits. He cracks a small grin. “When Owen starts singing and I’m pretty sure I’m gonna die.”

“_Hey_, don’t fucking tease your older brother, I just let you have the cheesiest goodbye ever and I didn’t say one word!” Owen protests.

Dex rolls his eyes. “And you wonder where I learned to be dramatic.”

“Get in the truck,” Derek laughs.

“I’ll see you soon,” Dex calls out, when he climbs into the truck. He says it again as Owen starts the truck and puts it in drive. He rolls his window down and yells, “Soon!”

“Soon,” Derek repeats. He waves as Dex and his brother drive away.

_ Soon_, his heart reminds him, when he sees the truck take a left turn, and again when he loses sight of the truck and has no choice but to go back inside. It’s only for a little bit. They will see each other soon.

  
  
  


_ end of may _

Derek is in Colorado when the letter comes.

It’s the second to last day of his first camp and he’s just gotten back from their trip to the Manitou Incline. He’s all but collapsed on the bed, legs sore from the hike, when one of the AGMs knocks on his door and pops his head in. “Derek Nurse?” the guy confirms.

“You got him.”

The guy—Derek thinks his name is Todd—waves an envelope and steps into the room. “Mail came for you. Good thing it got here before camp ending, eh?”

Derek takes the envelope. The return address is in Maine; his heart skips a beat. “No absolute fucking way,” he breathes. He looks up, wide-eyed, at Todd. “Yo, thanks dude. Been waiting on this.”

Todd gives him a lazy salute on his way back out the door.

It feels precious as Derek breaks the seal and pulls out the letter encased inside of it. Dex’s chicken scratch handwriting is what greets him. The letter is longer than he expected, and written a bit neater than usual. Derek traces the edge of it with his thumb.

His name is at the top, crossed out. Derek laughs breathlessly to himself. He can see it now: Dex sitting at a desk somewhere, fiddling with a pen and staring at a blank page. He probably wrote Derek’s name then swore under his breath a few times when he decided it wasn’t romantic enough and crossed it out.

_ Sweetheart_, Dex writes.

Derek takes a deep breath.

_ Ignore the fact that I literally don’t know how to start a love letter. I want this to be so romantic you’re blown away and kiss me senseless the next time you see me, but I’ll probably be lucky if you don’t throw this whole thing away and call me to yell at me. _

The thought is so absurd that Derek can’t help but laugh. A few months ago, that’s probably exactly what he would have done. But time has smoothed out his edges where it comes to Dex and has left Derek aching for him. He’ll probably frame this letter, if he’s being honest.

_ I miss you, _ Dex writes in a heavy hand. The words carry more weight than either of them could have ever predicted. Derek traces them with the pad of his thumb. _ I miss you and your dumb face and your stupid laugh and your hands. I miss you like you’re a part of me now. You’ve grown on me, Derek Nurse. You consume me. _

_ The undeniable fact of the matter is, I was always doomed to go down this path. But I hesitate to call it “doomed”—what a negative connotation for such a positive feeling I have when I’m with you now. _

_ I could shout my love for you from the rooftops and there would still not be enough room for how deeply I feel for you. _

_ I’m so in love with you, Nursey. I love you so hard I’ve rewritten my DNA for you. I don’t care if it’s too early to say—or write. Same thing, right? My point still stands. I think I’ll love you for a lifetime. _

_ I got off track though. I was always destined for this, I think. That’s a better word choice. I was always destined to fall for you; there’s absolutely nothing that could have stopped me. I love you in my dreams. When I sleep, I picture you. Can you imagine loving someone so much that they’re all you dream about? I never thought that was a real thing. _

_ The truth is, I didn’t think I was built for a love like this. I like facts and figures and tangible data. I like fixing things that I can see. I wasn’t made for the fantasy world of falling in love with someone and having it be anything but practical. I don’t love you in a practical way. I love you in a way that consumes me so much I can’t breathe sometimes when I think about you. I love you in a way that makes my heart skip beats. I can FaceTime you and text you and hear your voice whenever you want and still feel like you aren’t close enough to me. _

_ I read a poem once. Actually, I think you made me read a poem, let’s be real here. Anyway, this part has stuck with me ever since I read it: _

_ I don’t want to be around you. I don’t want to drink you in. I want to walk into the heart of you and never walk back out. _

_ Look at that. You’ll make a poet out of me, yet. _

_ With all the love I possess, _

_ Dex _

  
  
  


“You stupid asshole, you told me you loved me for the first time in a letter and now I can’t even kiss you,” Derek cries into the phone, when Dex finally picks up. He can’t even pretend he isn’t crying as hard as he is. “I love you too. Oh my god, Will, I’m so in love with you I cannot even breathe right now. This is the romantic gesture I’ve ever been given and I’m going to frame it. I love it, I love it, I love it, I love you—”

“Hang on, I think I missed what you said the first seventeen times?” Dex interrupts. “Think you could say it again?”

“You’re the most annoying, most sarcastic, most obnoxious boyfriend in the whole world and I love you so hard,” Derek breathes out. “I wish I could see your face right now. I wish I could kiss your stupid face.”

Dex laughs, breathy and beautiful. “I can’t believe you love me back.”

Derek makes an incredulous noise. He wonders if he’ll ever be able to show Dex just how much he loves him. “You’re the best thing to happen to me,” Derek says honestly. “And before I fell in love with you, the best thing to ever happen to me was hockey. I love you, baby. I love you so damn much.”

“You’re such a sap.”

“I’m going to _ frame _your letter.”

Dex groans. “Don’t you dare.”

Derek is going to keep the letter somewhere he can always see it. He’s going to read it a thousand times, until it’s memorized. He’s going to plead and beg Dex for another one and he’s going to hold onto it until the page is brittle.

He’s going to love Dex for a _ lifetime_.

  
  
  


_ june _

It’s a perfect day.

Derek’s plane touches down in Portland and the sun is rising right over the water. He isn’t right at the oceanside, but the gentle pinks and yellows ripple over the water and it feels close enough. Somewhere in the airport, Dex is waiting for him.

They’re almost close enough.

He makes quick work deplaning and working his way through the airport. He packed everything in his two carry ons; there’s nothing that is going to waste his time getting to Dex.

Derek hasn’t seen him since the day he left for this place. He hasn’t even said _ I love you _in person. It’s gonna be the first thing he does when he sees Dex.

When he makes it out of the airport doors, the ocean air hits his lips. It smells like Dex; Derek gets it now, why Dex loves it here so much. This place is inside of him. Derek is surrounded by parts of Dex.

He doesn’t like airports or the process of traveling, but for this Derek thinks it’s worth it.

Dex picks him up in the passenger pick-up lanes. Derek recognizes the same truck Dex’s brother took him home in. It takes a second, but then Derek seem him. 

He’s beautiful. Derek loves him so much his chest is full with it. Dex cranes his neck and searches each person’s face; when his eyes land on Derek, the grin that splits his face takes Derek’s breath away.

Dex maneuvers the truck and puts it in park in front of Derek. His window is down; music filters softly through the speakers. Derek grins at him like a lovestruck idiot.

“Lookin’ good, Nurse,” Dex drawls. “You need a ride somewhere?”

“I love you so goddamn much,” Derek breathes. Dex leans over the seat and opens the door for him. Derek’s heart is going to burst out of his chest. He drops both his bags to the floor and climbs his way into the truck, leaning all the way over into Dex’s space and kissing him right on the mouth.

“Get your bags, we’re holding up traffic,” Dex laughs. Then he reaches up and grabs a fistful of Derek’s shirt, pulling him back for another kiss.

Yeah. Derek is certain it’s a perfect day.

**Author's Note:**

> i did A Lot of research for this fic so here's some fun facts for anyone who cares:
> 
> -rogue one released on dvd apr 7  
-danny phantom aired in 2004, so derek really would have been 8 years old (it's important that i did the math on this)  
-the MOBA is located in somerville, ma; dinner at oath pizza, which is literally right down the street from the MOBA  
-the painting they analyze while at MOBA is [lucy in the field with flowers](http://museumofbadart.org/history/), the painting that originally spurred the entire idea for the entire museum  
-frozen four 2017 was officially held apr 6-8th; because i'm a dumb dumb and did my timeline weird, i moved it to the weeked of apr 13-15th so i could do less editing. thank god for fiction!  
-frozen four semi-final/final games were played at the united center arena in chicago  
-the movie they go to see for their second date is power rangers, because they are both children at heart. power rangers was released in theaters Mar 24  
-[university of denver won the championship title in 2017](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hqs1yxbmuCo)  
-in the comic, the banquet happens before graduation. banquet occurs in [2.15](http://checkpleasecomic.com/comic/02-15-01), graduation is [2.17](http://checkpleasecomic.com/comic/02-17-01), so i followed that example while writing these scenes  
-as samwell is based majorly off of boston university, i used BU's 2017 schedule as the timeline basis for the following events:  
samwell finals may 8th-13th  
banquet date: after finals, may 13th  
samwell Graduation occurs approximately may 18-21st  
*boston university’s commencement ceremony 2017 occurred may 21st at 1pm  
-derek’s invitations are for the leafs and the avs. dex’s are the Leafs, Schooners, and the Hurricanes  
-the [manitou incline](https://www.nhl.com/avalanche/news/avalanche-development-camp-day-3-recap/c-290228076) is a real thing that the avs had their prospects do at camp. this article is also full of some really cool stuff about what happens at development camps!  
-the poem that dex references in his letter is [tim riggins speaks of waterfalls](http://gulfcoastmag.org/journal/26.1/tim-riggins-speaks-of-waterfalls/) by nico alvarado which is, to this day, my absolute favorite poem.
> 
> wow, what a ride this story was! i can't believe i completed a big bang, let alone that THIS behemoth was the result. this story is my baby and (to date) the longest one-shot i have ever written, and i loved every second of it.
> 
> thank you so so much for reading if you made it this far! as always, i'm on [tumblr](https://tonytangredis.tumblr.com).


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